The attack of the pink tornado

Published August 1, 2014 by hairballexpress

I’m now in intensive therapy thanks to today’s attack of the pink tornado.

It attacked earlier today with shouts of ponies and the usual maniacal laughter, and with an army of “real” hungry lions and bears, with stuffed kats that aren’t kats (but are “real dogs”)… And with fairy wings flapping in the breeze it flew all throughout the yard and the house on its mission to seek out and dress every four footed beast known to man and kat kind.

Fur heaven only knows what reason, it is especially fond of ME- and it pounced on every opportunity it could find to sneak up on me when the human was busy. I found hiding places in this house that I never knew existed!

I also learned a lot today about the limits of the human’s patience.
(UnFURtunately, the Creature somehow missed those clues). By the time it went back to its cave, I had more GRAY fur and so did the human-

I was a nervous wreck and the human called Dr.Phil. The picture above is me in intensive psychotherapy with my psychiatric nurse, Tiddles.

No offense, but I’m sure my therapy would be much more effective if Tiddles was one of those mail nurses.
*(sigh)*

The drowned Barbie and other horror stories

Published July 26, 2014 by hairballexpress

Apparently Barbie isn’t much brighter than the moron humans that made her, since she’s laying there grinning from ear to ear even after the Creature drowned her in the bathroom sink fur an hour.

And undaunted by the now REALLY lifeless Barbie, the Creature moves on to drown the zebra too…(lucky him).Bad enough the poor plastic dude got slathered in girly soap first and suffered the indignities of girly clips on his mane- now he has to drown with a “soapin naked” Barbie on top of that. Oh joy.

And now fur the next slathering of girly soap (just in case he’s not humiliated enough).

And now the finishing touches- (finishing him off)!

And now she gives poor drowned Barbie some animal cookies… (Really)?

Uh oh. More in store for poor Barbie and the zebra…(look at the poor dude’s face)!

She’s so purroud of herself…

And now she’s cold!?

I guess she doesn’t want the zebra to miss out…(poor dude)….

And they wonder why I dive under the bed when it comes around….(go figure)! *(tail flap)*

Pony Express

Published July 18, 2014 by hairballexpress

Here we go again....

I got the human’s camera and stalked the Creature again yesterday, and OH MY KATS!

The Creature came outside in her jammies while the human was peacefully watering the grass and sipping her coffee and it began to tell the tale of every flippin pony from the days of cave men and dinosaurs to right now.

The human knew she was in trouble from the moment she looked down and saw this….

So much fur peace and quiet....

Then pretty soon her eyes glazed over and she stood with the hose in one hand (suddenly watering the sidewalk), her coffee in the other hand (getting covered with cobwebs), and a blank stare on her face as the Creature talked nonstop fur the next hour about wicked ponies and ponies that died and “came alive again,” & how she was going to get 3 horses and build them a barn overnight.

It looked like this :

And all the human heard was…….
“and rainbow dash was the one who started the whole thing cause she was WICKED and…… Blah blah blah…. Ponies, and blah blah blah….ponies….. Kingdom. and blah blah blah…. Came alive again and it was okay that she died because…. Blah blah blah… And, but WHY did she come alive again?… “

And that was the first of 8 hours of the history of Ponyville…

No wonder the human falls asleep so quickly.

Creature Design Surprise!

Published June 27, 2014 by hairballexpress

I heard the Creature coming this morning, and I was getting ready to jump down from the windowsill and dive under the bed, when I heard its mother say something that stopped me in mid air!

She was telling the human that the Creature had a surprise fur me – that yesterday, and even at bedtime last night the Creature had been so excited about making it fur me that she hadn’t been able to sleep! She had worked on it most of last night and was all excited to surprise me with it this morning!

I have to say, that I was impressed! It made me purr that she wanted so much to make me a toy, that she worked on it all evening yesterday!

Fur its base, she took a doll barstool from her Barbie dollhouse, and used certain clothing items from Barbies’ wardrobe – (Sure hope Barbie doesn’t sue her when she finds out the Creature is the reason she’s suddenly naked as a Jaybird) –

And she used a finger puppet – (which finger)? – and a refillable Easter egg, and stickers… And other things and carefully fashioned it together so it would stand upright fur me to look at and paw at…

And then she wrapped it up and came early this morning to purrsent it to me!
*(purrs) *

I was so surprised, I hopped up on the kat perch fur a better look…. But THEN IT THOUGHT I WANTED TO PLAY AND IT CAME AFTER ME!!! (WHERE THE HECK IS SUPERMAN WHEN YOU NEED HIM)?

OH MY FLEAS!!!! It came right over to the kat perch and put its stuffed kats up there and started playing with my perch – why of all THE NERVE!!

Then fur the rest of the day it made a game of sneaking up behind me when I fell asleep and “surprising” me! I tell you my nerves are Shot!

… (but I can’t wait to get my hot little paws on that pawsome toy when the humans fall asleep tonight)!

Creature Feature- Locks of love

Published June 16, 2014 by hairballexpress

Today the Creature got her first Purrfessional haircut….. Thank God I was at home a safe distance away… From the looks of things, I would have come back shaved!

I think the place was called “Great Nips!”

Getting ready to donate her hair to something called “locks of love”…….. The hair that is cut is donated to make wigs for creatures who have lost their hair because of cancer.