Its all about ME!

All posts in the Its all about ME! category

As the Claw Sharpens….

Published August 29, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans! ๐Ÿ˜บ โ˜•๏ธ

I am still having WP purroblems – I’ll be staying a new blog today – when it’s ready I’ll post a link here!! I don’t want to lose any of you!

Chill, dudes.

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More from Shrimp’s Family Albumย 

Published August 1, 2016 by hairballexpress


Greetings humans!๐Ÿ˜บ โ˜•๏ธ 

This morning you get to see cute little me!

UnFURtunately, you also get to see more from my family album.

1.) Meet Chunky. He’s the weird(est) one in the family (this generation). He’s my 65th cousin – (But don’t tell anybody)!


2.) This is  Great Uncle Stripes. He’s the family philosopher. And word has it that he’s quite experienced (in the making women mad part)!๐Ÿ˜ธ

3.) This is Aunt Bertha – She goes through can openers like I go through mice. Looks like she wore out another one!

4.) My nephew, Spurs. He went to college to become (More) confused. Somewhere along the line he became convinced that he is Hillary Clinton’s “spirit animal.”

He’s gonna need more than coffee and an aspirin!

5.) This is My other nephew, Pickles. He’s in law school working to become a defense attorney.


6.) Meet Smokey. He’s my 17th brother from my mom’s 18th litter. We have so much fun together! *BURP*


7.) And this is one of my sisters -(But I furgot which one – I have hundreds, you know)… She’s a kleptomaniac…

8.) This is My great great grandpaw, Louie. Those were his last words. 

Oh, he’s still alive – he’s just exceptionally hissed.

Well, that’s it for tonight -the red dot is calling!!

Stayed tuned fur more from Shrimp’s Family Album!


๐Ÿญ Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger & Pinterest ๐Ÿญ

Shrimp’s Kat diaryย 

Published July 15, 2016 by hairballexpress

8:00 pm  Purrs day, July – something. 


Well once again, that flippin human is next door with the neighbor’s Kat.

I stole her iPhone today while she was distracted with the Creature, so I could text my 525th boyfriend, “Crusher”- and I saw all these pictures of Tori on “her” phone! ๐Ÿ˜พ 

*Why that dirty, rotten scoundrel!

I knew she was going in and out of the house several times a day, but I didn’t really believe her when she said she was “checking the mail” fur the 15th time today –

And just LOOK at all these flippin pictures!!!


But then, right when I was starting to get upset at the human, I saw this text she sent one of her grown creatures this morning –


Threatening MY HUMAN?? AWWWW HECK NO!! 


THAT’S MY JOB.

I’m going to go over and have a yowling session under the neighbor’s bedroom window and let her know exactly what I think of her threatening my human!
(Like, what time do we want to do this, your claws, or mine)? 

MWAHAHAHA!!!๐Ÿ˜น 

Creature Feature: (or) “Creature Comforts”

Published June 25, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans – ๐Ÿ˜บโ˜•๏ธ

Fur the last several days, the human has been waking up earlier and flying out the door like a flippin ROCKET without purroperly snuggling me first- (fur at LEAST AN hour)!

Well, today I decided to investigate and see where the flea she’s been going! 

I caught her in action! Now I know why she hasn’t been snuggling me as much…

Look at the EVIDENCE I gathered!  ๐Ÿ˜พ

 



And this isn’t all – but I’m so flippin tired from my investigative efforts, I’ll have to purrsent the rest of it to you tomorrow!


Now let me ask you one thing – 

Do I look amused?? ๐Ÿ˜พ


       *sulks and slithers under the bed *

Cute little ME!!

Published June 17, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans!๐Ÿ˜บ โ˜•๏ธ  

It’s your lucky day! I decided to share my latest Selfies, because I’m just so flippin cute, I couldn’t resist!! ๐Ÿ˜น Enjoy!!







Mol!๐Ÿ˜ธ  Have a Pawsome day! ๐Ÿ’

More from the Family Album (UnFURtunately)

Published March 31, 2016 by hairballexpress

  
Greetings furiends. ๐Ÿ˜บโ˜•๏ธ

Shrimp here with more pictures from my family album. Before we get started, I just want you to know I have no idea where these morons came from. And I’m the cutest and smartest of the bunch.

 Fur example:

  

My great, great, great Aunt Clara tried to get rid of her wrinkles with a face-lift. The only thing that got lifted was her wrinkles – (and her nip stash).

Poor great, great Grandpaw Chubs had his tail bit off by the family idiot (Rover)…

  

Chubs  lived a long, happy life (tail-less) – Rover had an encounter with him in the backyard about a month later and he was never seen again. 

  

Grandma Snowball lost it toward the end – she pawed at bugs that weren’t there, had staring contests with her shadow, slept with the Creatures- and worst of all – MADE FURIENDS WITH THE DOG! ๐Ÿ™€

  

My third cousin, Bubs ran off every dog in the neighborhood. UnFURtunately, one of those dogs was a K-9 police OFFICER. He got arrested fur assault with a deadly claw.

  

My Great Uncle Vaugn (who came over on a ship from Germany where he was Chief Mouser), got tired of hunting mice, and decided to get something a little more interesting to catch. UnFURtunately, she only spoke dog.

  
And last, (But not least)- Uncle Tom sneaked out one day to go serenade his girlfriend, and came back (4 months later) with 16 kittens! 

Stay tuned for More from my Family Album!



  ๐Ÿญ  Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger ๐Ÿญ

It’s all about ME

Published March 9, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans! ๐Ÿ˜บโ˜•๏ธ

There’s been a lot of weirdness going on around here…..  
Here I am surveying my kingdom this morning – watching fur those annoying strays that come around trying to win the hearts of my humans – I DON’T THINK SO! *tail FLAP!* ๐Ÿ˜พ

And in other news…

The Creatures around here somehow got the notion that they have to get even BIGGER (and louder). Fur example…

There’s this snapchat that the Creature and it’s partner in crime sent the human:

  

It woke me up from a nice peaceful nap to the harrowing sound of THE CREATURE!! 

  

And then…. Right when I’d decided it was safe to resume my nap… 

 
The silence was broken again – by yet another Creature’s voice booming from the humans phone! ๐Ÿ˜พ

This time it was the littlest Creature – trying to say his blessing! (It’s talking now)! 

  
 Great. Now I have to book a flight to the Arctic – but I’m gonna sleep on it first. ๐Ÿ’ค

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