Barbie

All posts tagged Barbie

KAT 9 NEWS SPECIAL REPORT 

Published March 18, 2015 by hairballexpress



Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs. 

This is Shrimp coming to you this morning, afternoon, or whatever…with A special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

DOG CHASES PARKED CAR INTO GARAGE DOOR – Daily!



Well, we kats have known fur some time that dogs aren’t the brightest bulbs in the basket – but fur one dog owner, the not – so – bright dog (shoot – that dog’s not even LIT)- is costing them a lot of money in garage door repairs.

Appurently, Fido feels compelled to make sure that his humans’ vehicle is parked in the garage whether they’re home or not…which would be sweet if his compulsion wasn’t a daily event. 

His humans report that even when they stay home fur days without leaving at all, they will find Fido’s face sticking out of the garage door while his tail end remains on the other side -(wagging furiously).

Hmm. Must be something in the doggie biscuits.

FURUSTRATED HUMAN HIRES DOG TO POLICE REBELLIOUS TEEN 



Yep – you read that right. There’s some despurrate humans out there, furiends! 

Neighbors in the “It’s a dog’s world” subdivision have told KAT 9 NEWS that one angry mom hired the family dog to make sure her teenaged boy quit sneaking out at night. 

Whether it works out not is debatable however, because it appears the dog is smarter than the mom, since the dog has trained the boy to bring home biscuits fur him in exchange fur his remaining silent at his post outside Mom’s bedroom door. 

BIRD SUES U.S. GOVERNMENT FUR FALSE ADVERTISING 



It looks like even the wildlife in America is upset with the government, after an angry bird filed a lawsuit on  Tuesday charging the United States with false advertising fur their claim that, “The early bird gets the worm.”

The nameless bird claims he got up early every morning fur weeks in hopes of catching a nice, juicy worm fur his breakfast only to be disappointed again and again. 

He claims it is a violation of his civil rights and even plans to take aim at the Dept. Of Immigration fur threatening to send him back to the south.

KATS BEGINNING TO GIVE IN TO BARBIE’S STANDARD OF BEAUTY FUR WOMEN. 



Humans have debated fur years whether or not Barbie dolls have a negative effect on their female creatures, because of the unrealistic beauty standards she reflects. 

Now, Kats exposed to Barbie dolls in their Creatures’ bedrooms have also begun to strive to look like the dumb chunk of plastic. *(scratches head)*

KAT psychologists say this is mainly due to a lack of PURRoper amounts of nip in the kats’ diets.

This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS.

Good day. 

   🐭 Photos courtesy of Pinterest 🐭

The drowned Barbie and other horror stories

Published July 26, 2014 by hairballexpress

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Apparently Barbie isn’t much brighter than the moron humans that made her, since she’s laying there grinning from ear to ear even after the Creature drowned her in the bathroom sink fur an hour.

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And undaunted by the now REALLY  lifeless Barbie, the Creature moves on to drown the zebra too…(lucky him).Bad enough the poor plastic dude got slathered in girly soap first and suffered the indignities of girly clips on his mane- now he has to drown with a “soapin naked” Barbie on top of that. Oh joy.

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And now fur the next slathering of girly soap (just in case he’s not humiliated enough).

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And now the finishing touches- (finishing him off)!

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And now  she gives poor drowned Barbie some animal cookies… (Really)?

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Uh oh. More in store for poor Barbie and the zebra…(look at the poor dude’s face)!

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She’s so purroud of herself…

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And now she’s  cold!?

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I guess she doesn’t want the zebra to miss out…(poor dude)….

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 And they wonder why I dive under the bed when it comes around….(go figure)! *(tail flap)*

Creature Design Surprise!

Published June 27, 2014 by hairballexpress

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I heard the Creature coming this morning, and I was getting ready to jump down from the windowsill and dive under the bed, when I heard its mother say something that stopped me in mid air!

She was telling the human that the Creature had a surprise fur me –  that yesterday, and even at bedtime last night the Creature had been so excited about making it fur me that she hadn’t been able to sleep! She had worked on it most of last night and was all excited to surprise me with it this morning!

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I have to say, that I was impressed!  It made me purr that she wanted so much to make me a toy, that she worked on it all evening yesterday!

Fur its base, she took a doll barstool from her Barbie dollhouse, and used certain clothing items from Barbies’ wardrobe – (Sure hope Barbie doesn’t sue her when she finds out the Creature is the reason she’s suddenly naked as a Jaybird) –

And she used a finger puppet –  (which finger)? – and a refillable Easter egg, and stickers… And other things and carefully fashioned it together so it would stand upright fur me to look at and paw at…

And then she wrapped it up and came early this morning to purrsent it to me!
*(purrs) *

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I was so surprised, I hopped up on the kat perch fur a better look…. But THEN IT THOUGHT I WANTED TO PLAY AND IT CAME AFTER ME!!!  (WHERE THE HECK IS SUPERMAN WHEN YOU NEED HIM)?

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OH MY FLEAS!!!! It came right over to the kat perch and put its stuffed kats up there and started playing with my perch – why of all THE NERVE!!

Then fur the rest of the day it made a game of sneaking up behind me when I fell asleep and “surprising” me!  I tell you my nerves are Shot!

… (but I can’t wait to get my hot little paws on that pawsome toy when the humans fall asleep tonight)!

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