All posts in the Coffee category

Wednesday’s List: (More) Things Kats Hate 

Published July 27, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans. 😺 ☕️ 

Shrimp here with (yet another) very important list of Things Kats Hate.

Memorize it.

1.) Slow servants.

2.) Humans that fail obedience training.

3.) Vets that secretly work as dog double agents.

4.) Slow – poke humans that like to test our bladder capacity before letting us outside.

5.) Cheating humans. 

6.) Chameleons who secretly work fur the dog. *dang double agents*

7.) Humans who buy cheap Kat litter to “save money.”

8.) Lazy smurfs. *delicious!*

9.) Humans who don’t appureciate our gift selections. 

10.) Having to face the humans first thing in the morning – without coffee.

    🐹 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐹

Monday Madness 

Published May 30, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans.😺 ☕️ 

Well, sorry to tell ya, but it’s Monday Again! 

Here’s just a little reminder that you humans aren’t the only ones who have rotten Mondays. We kats do too- and even DOGS – (if we kats do our jobs right)!! 😹  

Don’t worry – you’ll get through it. It’s only 24 hours long. 

     🐠 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐠

The Human’s Purrsonal Nurse 

Published May 10, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans.☕️ 

I know you’re all wondering why I didn’t post this morning. Well, the reason is that I’ve had my paws full being the human’s purrsonal Nurse.

She went to church Sunday with human #2, and the Creature and its parents, then they all had a great BBQ with chicken, bratwursts, bison burgers, and roasted veggies. (I’ll talk later about her consequences fur not bringing home some fur me)- 

That was finished off with a brownie fudge sundae – the humans all had so much fun togetherand she stayed late -(More consequences). 😾

They came home and watched Dateline and everyone was doing fine – until the human decided to get her shower and go to bed- (human #2 had already gone to sleep).

All of a sudden she started getting sharp stabbing pains all across her tummy, and a hot “pins and needles” feeling all over the back of her neck and arms and was hit with nausea and diarrhea. 

That continued all night long. She never slept at all, because she was in so much pain and kept having to get up every ten minutes. (Everyone else was fine)-

So like the good nurse I am, every time she got up to go to the bathroom I followed her and watched to make sure she didn’t fall (she was so weak she could hardly stand up)- and I escorted her back to bed, and stayed close to her on the bed all night in case she got worse and I’d have to wake up human #2-(But I’m glad I didn’t need to because I don’t know how to make an earthquake happen).

I knew something was really wrong when she got up to feed me yesterday morning (after me pawing insistently at her nose), and seeing that she had to sit down several times before she could open a can of Fancy Feast and put some on a plate fur me- and, I got even more worried when I saw that she left the Keurig off and made no effort at all to get a cup of coffee! (CALL AN AMBULANCE)!🙀

All day yesterday she was “freezing”and bundled up in blankets (even though it was warm), and wasn’t the slightest bit interested in anything at all – except sleep. 

Even reading-(and playing Scrabble – her two favorite past times)- was too much effort. 

She knew it wasn’t food poisoning though, because that usually starts within an hour of eating tainted food, and this started several hours after she had eaten last. Also, everyone else and had eaten the same things and no one else got sick.

They still don’t know what was wrong – and this morning she is still having the sharp pain, but she isn’t as weak anymore, and is able to have a first cup of coffee since this started.

But I’m such a good nurse, that she keeps thanking me over and over and feeding me extra treats! 😺

Meanwhile, human #2 made countless trips to the store yesterday in search of popsicles, chicken noodle soup, and anything else that could help her keep something down, while The Creature and her Mom brought over medicine fur her yesterday and called the church to get her on the purrayer chain. Her furiends started purraying fur her, and one of them even dropped everything and came over just to purray fur her! 💝

She’s looking better today, is able to stay out of bed, is able to keep things down, and isn’t freezing anymore. Just still dealing with pain, a nasty headache and is exhausted.

So we’re feeling better about things since she is acting more normal now – when we see her heading to the Keurig, we know it can’t be too bad!😹

Now, about those consequences…😼

Thursday Therapy 

Published April 14, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans!😺 ☕️  FURiday is finally just one day away – so grab some coffee, and get ready fur some therapy! It’s going to be a Pawsome day!





Enjoy your day, dudes – do something fun to the dog next door!!😹 
🐈 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger & Pinterest 🐈

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