All posts in the Torties category


Published August 16, 2014 by hairballexpress

YAY. The Creature is BACK!


I was having a PURRfectly peaceful day, and then I heard the human say
that the Creature and its partner in crime were up in one of those weird bird things again on their way back from Oklahoma. I’m so excited. NOT!

Oh the humans were thrilled- they couldn’t wait to see them!
But I’ve been busy sharpening my claws, and I even ordered some vampire fangs to (hopefully) scare the Creature away.


Here’s the Creature and it’s partner in crime this morning after leaving the airport. Plotting against me ALREADY!


The Creature and some poor, unFURtunate horse she got hold of someplace in Oklahoma. I don’t know what she did to the poor thing, but I think it’s dead! He looks a little stiff, don’t ya think?


OH MY KATS! Look what she did to that poor turtle!





*buying a ticket of my own- to TAIWAN!*

The attack of the pink tornado

Published August 1, 2014 by hairballexpress

I’m now in intensive therapy thanks to today’s attack of the pink tornado.


It attacked earlier today with shouts of ponies and the usual maniacal laughter, and with an army of “real” hungry lions and bears, with stuffed kats that aren’t kats (but are “real dogs”)… And with fairy wings flapping in the breeze it flew all throughout the yard and the house on its mission to seek out and dress every four footed beast known to man and kat kind.


Fur heaven only knows what reason, it is especially fond of ME- and it pounced on every opportunity it could find to sneak up on me when the human was busy. I found hiding places in this house that I never knew existed!

I also learned a lot today about the limits of the human’s patience.
(UnFURtunately, the Creature somehow missed those clues). By the time it went back to its cave, I had more GRAY fur and so did the human-


I was a nervous wreck and the human called Dr.Phil. The picture above is me in intensive psychotherapy with my psychiatric nurse, Tiddles.

No offense, but I’m sure my therapy would be much more effective if Tiddles was one of those mail nurses.

It looks like my parents have some explaining to do…

Published June 30, 2014 by hairballexpress


Today was a creatureless day, (YES)!! – and I was basking in the warm sunlight that shone through the bedroom window and enjoying a long brushing session with the human as she sipped her coffee and prepared to write in her journal….

But then she picked up the journal, and some pictures fell out.  The human picked them up and stuck them back between the pages of the journal quickly as if she was trying to hide them from me.

Well, you know the old saying about kats and curiosity, so I investigated….When she got up fur her tenth refill on her coffee, I opened the journal to where the pictures were and read what was written.

Now I’m upset and I’m going on the Dr.Phil show the first chance I get!

Meet my “parents;”


"Mom and Dad"

Notice I don’t look anything like them?

And look at these pictures!!


"sister Muffy"

Hmmmmmmmm…..I don’t think so…


"sister Picasso?"

Uh huh.


"sister Chatty?"

So how come I don’t look like ANY of them? *(tail flap)*

I asked the human about it when she came back into the bedroom and settled in to write, and she just looked at me and spilled her coffee.

How convenient.

Of course, after she “spilled” her coffee, she had to strip the bed and wash her sheets, which of course kept her too busy to answer me.

But that’s okay – because I’m going to go online and order a pawternity test tomorrow (she doesn’t know I have her debit card, he he he)- and THEN… I’m going to go on the Dr.Phil show and get to the bottom of this!

She should know better than to mess with a KAT! *(HUFF)!*


Published June 29, 2014 by hairballexpress


I’m back!!  B-) I missed everyone…and especially all those lovely, delectable roses and flowers you all post just fur cute little me……


I could go fur some of those roses right now, actually….maybe I’ll saunter on over to Lady Pinkrose’s garden and grab a quick snack….or maybe over to Ajatao’s delightful garden…


Or, maybe I’ll sneak over and visit Roxy and Tigerlino….


Right after I teach the pink snake a
Lesson it’ll never furget…


* (wild beast coming out to play….) *

Training the human to play

Published June 23, 2014 by hairballexpress


This morning I decided I’d had enough of the human always running around busily flitting from one thing to the other simply because she’s a flippin grown up with responsibilities. That’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard.


So I sat on the couch, looking out the window plotting, I mean, thinking of how to get the idiot to settle down for a little bit and flippin relax.


Then I noticed the ribbons she had brought out earlier and left on the couch.

So, I waited until she walked by again on her way to the kitchen fur the ever present cup of coffee, then when I saw her look over at me, I POUNCED on the ribbons and tangled myself up in them so she’d have to come and ‘rescue’ me!


It worked like a charm!

She dropped what she was doing and rushed over to untangle me and to keep me from shredding the ribbons (nice try).

Once I was untangled, I purrtended to lose interest in the ribbons and ‘groom’ myself. And again, when she started to walk away, I pounced on the ribbons so she’d have to come back- (he he he)!


And, when she did, I looked at her like she was losing it, & resumed my “grooming…”


I kept up with the game until she finally figured out that I wanted her to play… It only took her an hour before she finally got it – (she’s getting better…. Slowly)!


When she realized I was playing with her she dropped everything and we played and snuggled until I was exhausted and lost interest fur real.

I actually think the human had more fun than I did. Sometimes she (and all humans), get so caught up in everyday life that they furget to have some fun too. Today was pawsome fur both of us and I think the human even seems happier! 600 points fur the kat!!

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