Cattitude, Dude.

Published August 28, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans!😺 ☕️ 

You know, I’m  always hearing you humans talk about how we kats walk around with a load of cattitude all the time. 

Well, DUH!  What do you expect from a higher life form being held captive and fed dry cereal by apes?

(nothing purrsonal, dudes).

🐹 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger and Pinterest 🐹

Caturday Complaints 

Published August 27, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans.😾 ☕️

You know, we kats look furward to our Caturday all week long so we can finally relax and let the fur fly -but then we encounter purroblems- (usually caused by you humans, your creatures, or other non-human “family members).”

Here are a few examples of our Caturday Complaints;

1.) Dressing us? REALLY?

2.) Ruining our Caturday by adopting a walking tongue.

3.) Insisting on BATHING US even though you know we’re self cleaning!

4.) Bringing a peanut butter addict into our castle.

5,) Serving us wet noodles (Without cheese).

6.) Ruining our surprises.

7.) Not wearing makeup-(you need it!)

8.) Installing a walking fire extinguisher.

9.) Interfering with our efforts to “eat right.”

10.) Making us listen to the News.

           CUT IT OUT ALREADY!😾

🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

Kat FURiday Funnies 

Published August 26, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans!😺 ☕️ 

Well, thank you all fur your purrayers and support. The humans are feeling better today and things seem to be getting back to normal since the incident at the store, although they’ll purrobably never be able to go into a store again without thinking about it.

Meanwhile, I think we need to share a laugh or two to lighten things up a bit.

Have a safe and happy day today – after all, it  is a brand new day!

🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

Thursday Therapy 

Published August 25, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans. ☕️ 

Tonight the humans and I need some therapy, so I’m keeping this short, so I can snuggle them and ease their nerves a little. 

You see, today when human #2 went to work, he immediately texted human #1 to tell her to turn on the news – someone had driven right through the store he works in and when he got to work he (and everybody else) walked into a disaster.

The next thing they knew, the news teams were there and human #2 (and the rest of the employees) were spending the the day trying to clean up the mess.

A woman had come into the store and tried to buy 2,000 (+) gift cards with a check – (and the check didn’t go through)- so she got mad and screamed at everyone, then left and came right back – in her SUV – and DROVE RIGHT INTO THE STORE (with no regard fur the employees and customers)- and then backed the car up (in the store), and drive around some more, destroying everything in her path before speeding out the other door.

The store was completely destroyed and the humans are grateful that neither of them were there when it happened -(although they both had been there and left a few hours before). And miraculously, no one was hurt.

It turns out that the woman who did this thing had a mental illness (fur which her doctor had reduced her medication), and she had been using drugs. (She was later found and arrested). It was also learned that she had just lost her mother.

I have a lot to say about this – but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. 

*it’s been a long day*

Wednesday’s List: Things Kats Hate 

Published August 24, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans. 😺 ☕️ 

Shrimp here with another very important list of Things Kats Hate.

1.) Touchy humans.

2.) KATurpults.

3.) Fish funerals.

4.) Family businesses.

6.) Snarky humans.

7.) Ugly dogs named Fifi.

8.) Any dog named Fifi.

9.) Anybody named Fifi – dog or otherwise.

10.) Any dog.

🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

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