cat humor

All posts tagged cat humor

Caturday Complaints 

Published August 27, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans.😾 ☕️


You know, we kats look furward to our Caturday all week long so we can finally relax and let the fur fly -but then we encounter purroblems- (usually caused by you humans, your creatures, or other non-human “family members).”

Here are a few examples of our Caturday Complaints;

1.) Dressing us? REALLY?


2.) Ruining our Caturday by adopting a walking tongue.

3.) Insisting on BATHING US even though you know we’re self cleaning!


4.) Bringing a peanut butter addict into our castle.


5,) Serving us wet noodles (Without cheese).


6.) Ruining our surprises.


7.) Not wearing makeup-(you need it!)


8.) Installing a walking fire extinguisher.


9.) Interfering with our efforts to “eat right.”


10.) Making us listen to the News.

           CUT IT OUT ALREADY!😾

🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

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Kat 9 News Special Report 

Published July 30, 2016 by hairballexpress



Greetings humans, fleabags and fuzzballs. 

This is Shrimp coming to you with a special report from Kat 9 News.

  • Kats getting involved in the fight against terrorism

These days everyone’s sick of terrorism, and after hearing about it on the news every night, two kats have decided to fight back. 

Meet Godzilla and Kong. 

Their humans said that until the recent purresidential campaign in the US, the two had been just like any other spoiled rotten kats -but once they observed the two nominees debating, they decided they had better get involved, and they began doing some plotting of their own. 

Now if they could just quit fighting each other…

  • Kats getting involved in protests 

In other news, kats have become tired of waiting fur humans to solve all the purroblems they’re always squawking about, and have themselves begun to lodge protests.

UnFURtunately, the subject of their protests can’t seem to move beyond the topic of cheap kat food, and the purresence of dogs and creatures in their homes.

Oh well, good luck with that!

  • Granny in England sues pet store for demolition team kats.

In a quaint small town in England, one sassy granny woke up to a feathery disaster this morning and discovered her newly purchased pair of Siamese twins had shredded her down comforter as she slept. 

They had tried to convince her that the comforter massacre had been carried out by the perky pekingnese dog that had lived there fur years before they arrived, and almost had granny convinced – until one of them started coughing up a feathery hairball. Oops.

She is suing The Pet Peeves pet store where the diabolical kats had been purrchased.

  • Verbal Typo leads to major Uh-Oh



French student, Chuckie the Chimp was appurently tuned into his iPhone and not his girlfriend when she asked him a question in French while they were studying together. 

Turns out that was great fur her, but not so great fur Chuckie – which he quickly discovered when she ran into the jungle fur a few minutes, and came out wearing a wedding dress and escorted by her gorilla dad – who just happened to be a minister… With a shotgun.

Oops.

This has been Shrimp reporting fur Kat 9 News. Good Day.


    🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

Kat Sunday Funnies 

Published July 10, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans!😺 ☕️ 

How about we start off your morning with some laughs? 

There’s been plenty of stress around here lately, and I’ve had my paws full trying to keep the human going. 

Good thing she loves my trills and purrs!😸

🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger and Pinterest 🐭

Kat FURiday Funnies 

Published July 8, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans!😺 ☕️ 

Thank kats it’s FURIDAY! 

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready fur this week to be over with. I want my human here to flippin SPOIL me like she’s supposed to be doing!

Hopefully her furiend will get out of the rehab center in a few weeks – meanwhile, I’m plotting just in case!😼

Have a Pawsome day, dudes!

   🐭. Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

Shrimp’s Monday Musings (quotes from my ancestors)….

Published June 13, 2016 by hairballexpress



Greetings humans!😺 ☕️ 

Most people think we kats just sit around sleeping or thinking of bugs all day. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We also think of……coffee, nip, birds, fish, cookies, pizza, plotting against the dog, playing tricks on humans, defending our territory against purredators, the meaning of life, getting our driver’s license, things humans say about us (and getting revenge), fitness, arts and books, and everything else you humans think we never think about. 

Just in case it hadn’t occurred to you yet, that should make you very nervous!😹 MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Here are some examples of quotes from my ancestors –


My Grandpaw- his words go through my mind about 50 times a day.

My great Grandpaw’s brother in law – 

My Great great, great Grandma’s art Purrfessor and Philosopher- she ready made everyone think.

My father in law’s great great uncle. 

Great Aunt Martha. Too bad that straight jacket was so tight….

My fitness trainer, Bubba. All us kats looked up to him (and around him).

Great, great Aunt Bertha – she was great at hypnosis. (I learned from the best)!

Great, Great Aunt Bertha’s top student, Jabba. We all respected him and stepped out of the way when we saw him coming -(or he’d flatten us).

Sylvia, my 14th Uncle’s wife- she was a great huntress. Birds and hot dogs didn’t have a chance.

My activist  GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRANDMA. 

To bad those humans are still multiplying. 



🐥 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger and Pinterest 🐥

Kat FURiday Funnies 

Published June 10, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans, fleabags and fuzzballs!😺 ☕️ 

It’s FINALLY FURiday!!!

Time to fluff up your fur, rocket through the house, (purreferably knocking down expensive goodies and spilling things on computers at the same time)- and pick on the dog!

Of course, if you don’t have a dog, then feel free to just bury the car keys-  (to keep the humans on their toes)! Mol!!😹 


Have fun!

🐭 Memes (except fur cute little me), courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭

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