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More kat careers

Published July 28, 2014 by hairballexpress

You know, people underestimate the talents and intelligence of their local housekat.

Fur example, in the picture below it looks like I’m sleeping. But there’s much more happening there:

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I’m reminding the humans that they need to take a break often throughout their busy day.

I’m showing them how to let it all go and just chill.

I’m also testing their bedding fur comfort – you know, making sure there’s no lumps under the blankets.

In other words, I’m a sleep therapist!

But I’m not the only talented housekat –

Look at the careers some of my furiends have:

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• Sweater models (they get paid a boatload of tuna and treats to look that ridiculous)…

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• Door Decoration –

It doesn’t pay much, but hey, at least he can’t get arrested fur bring a peeping tom!

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• Sea Captain;

No pay, but the fringe benefits are PAWSOME!

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• Bed Warmers:

Few people know this, but this is also another one of my many talents – one of the best fringe benefits of this career is the frequent spider snacks we get when they sneak out while humans are sleeping- (YUM)!

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• Food taster –

Dude. Must’ve been the cheap stuff.

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• Image consultant –

I hear it’s very rewarding to bolster another kats’ self esteem (never tried it purrsonally)!

Well, time fur me to log in fur bed warming duty – stay tuned fur more fascinating kat careers!

The drowned Barbie and other horror stories

Published July 26, 2014 by hairballexpress

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Apparently Barbie isn’t much brighter than the moron humans that made her, since she’s laying there grinning from ear to ear even after the Creature drowned her in the bathroom sink fur an hour.

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And undaunted by the now REALLY  lifeless Barbie, the Creature moves on to drown the zebra too…(lucky him).Bad enough the poor plastic dude got slathered in girly soap first and suffered the indignities of girly clips on his mane- now he has to drown with a “soapin naked” Barbie on top of that. Oh joy.

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And now fur the next slathering of girly soap (just in case he’s not humiliated enough).

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And now the finishing touches- (finishing him off)!

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And now  she gives poor drowned Barbie some animal cookies… (Really)?

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Uh oh. More in store for poor Barbie and the zebra…(look at the poor dude’s face)!

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She’s so purroud of herself…

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And now she’s  cold!?

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I guess she doesn’t want the zebra to miss out…(poor dude)….

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 And they wonder why I dive under the bed when it comes around….(go figure)! *(tail flap)*

The kats of NA (Nip Anonymous)

Published July 1, 2014 by hairballexpress

I have no idea why everyone assumes we kats are addicted to Katnip….

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Of course, it could be that the confessions have something to do with it….

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*(I don’t do those things) *……      *(purrs)*

Mirror, mirror

Published June 21, 2014 by hairballexpress

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We kats never have self esteem issues.

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That’s because we spend so much time grooming ourselves, that we have seen
ourselves in every possible light and position, and we have come to realize that fur kats, every side is our best side!

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Aren’t we the coolest kats ever? *(purrs)*

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