This is Shrimp coming to you today with an urgent Special Report fur all you kats and your pet humans.
🔺 Kats too late to start human TNR PURROGRAM
Kats everywhere have been noticing with increasing alarm, that creatures are popping up at alarming rates in every neighborhood, and it’s been suggested that purrhaps it was time to give the humans a taste of their own medicine.
That’s when Serafina and I spoke to all our furiends and decided to institute the Human TNR PURROGRAM, (trap / nueter / return).
Although it is a purrfect solution, there are a few things to work out. Fur example, how the flea does a kat go about trapping their human and getting them to the vet?
This is what we and the other neighborhood kats were addressing when the unthinkable happened –
Poor Serafina! 🙀 And of course, the Creature and the whole bunch of humans are flippin thrilled.
FUR FLIPPIN FLEAS’ SAKE!
GET YOUR HUMANS TO THE VET BEFORE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU! 🙀
This has been Shrimp reporting fur Kat 9 News. Good grief.
Well, I think there’s something wrong with my eyes – lately when I follow my human over to the Creature’s house, I start seeing double! Yep – that’s right.
I hide under the bushes and watch (being careful that the Creature doesn’t see me and come after me)- and right when I think I’ve got everything all figured out, up pops ANOTHER Creature! 🙀
Yesterday, I watched as the human called the Creature inside and they started coloring together – and suddenly the Creature next door came bursting inside to show off her claw polish! (Those claws are scary enough without that shiny pink stuff on them)!
The next thing I knew they were at the table together plotting and drawing out their blueprint of the Kat attack they had scheduled – and then, I couldn’t believe my eyes –
They captured poor little Serafina!🙀
She narrowly escaped – thanks to the human looking up from the computer just in time to see them purrparing to dress her in doll clothes!
Luckily, the Creature next door got called inside by her mom (Serafina purrayed)- and the human was able to distract the Creature long enough fur poor Serafina to run away and hide.
She was so relieved that she managed to escape, so we’re getting together today with a few blueprints of our own – the next time those two creatures get together, we’ll have a surprise of our own fur them!
Greetings humans, fleabags and fuzzballs!😺 ☕️
Since it’s spring, and there’s new litters of kittens springing up everywhere, I’m taking this oppurrtunity to brag a little about how well Serafina has learned “Shrimp’s rules fur the discerning Kat!”
Rule #2 (Book 337- we have a system, so don’t complain)… Show the humans the RIGHT way to do the dishes.
Rule #3 (Book 2- Hey, don’t knock the system!)- If there are little creatures in the house, always act irresistibly cute a few minutes before their bedtime. This insures that you’ll have a playmate to keep you company while the dinosaurs sleep.
Stay tuned fur more of Shrimp’s Rules fur the discerning Kat!😺
Good morning humans! 😺 ☕️
While poor Serafina was eating dry cereal!!!!!!😾 $75.00 a bag, but still,…
Meanwhile, the Creature was having a blast with her other grandparents, getting treated like royalty- (noticing a pattern here yet)? And Serafina and I had a conference, and decided to put our paws down!
But then they came back home, and Serafina went out the next morning (tired of not getting her 4 am play session with the Creature’s Dad while they were gone), and she stayed gone the whole day! Even I was worried -(we hadn’t planned that part)!
When she finally came home late that night -(after the humans had walked around calling and searching fur her all day), she was soaking wet and muddy – even her whole belly!
Everyone was thrilled she came home – safe and unharmed – but it had been pouring rain all day, and no one could figure out where she’d been. She immediately got fed and then got a bath – and she was so happy to be home – she even snuggled up with the Creature!
Everyone had been so afraid fur her – but now she’s safe and clinging to everyone like crazy.
That’s not all that’s going on with these humans, but it’s past time for my midnight nap- so I’ll finish later. Just thinking about it has me exhausted!
Later, dudes! 💤