All posts tagged scientists


Published October 20, 2015 by hairballexpress

Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs. This is Shrimp with a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

  • Scientists at PURRnell University release details of intensive study on kat intelligence 

Humans have been thinking of us kats as nothing more than mere “animals” fur years. But that is all about to change, following the release of this new study.

The study reveals that we kats are far more intelligent than those idiot humans ever imagined – having not only logic, but exhibiting purroblem solving skills and expurrtise in science, such as this kat, PURRfessor Cottonball.  “Amazing” says one (human) scientist – surprised that Purrfessor Cottonball even knows what science is. Imagine how shocked he’ll be when he discovers that Purrfessor Cottonball is patenting his own brand of kitty litter with built in katnip! 😹

And here, my pal “Dustbunny” demonstrates his purroblem solving skills – much to the chagrin of his “owner”/ staff.

UnFURtunately, some kats use their intelligence and skills fur the wrong purrposes, like my pal “Winky”- (below)- who learned from the best – politicians!

 And “Twinkie” demonstrates his desire to help others by volunteering to guard his neighbor’s chicken coop. Sadly, three of the chickens mysteriously vanished – believed to have been sucked up into an alien spacecraft while Twinkie used the litterbox.

*shakes head*

 In addition to “Twinkie,” researchers were also amazed at the hunting ability of “Icecap -” who climbed to the roof of this house in record time to catch the seagull who had taunted him fur days.  UnFURtunately, he’d furgotten that his staff had clipped his claws that morning. Tragic.

This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. Good day.

       *stretch / yawn / snore *💤 

🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭


Published February 8, 2015 by hairballexpress

<Greetings, Furiends, Fluffballs, & Fleabags!

This is Shrimp here, with an urgent Special Report:


SOURCES have just conFURmed that KATS all over America are suddenly being taken with what seems to be a form of temporary insanity as can be seen in some of the photos you’re about to see.

Warning: the following photos are graphic in nature and may be disturbing to most (feline) viewers.

The epidemic aPURRently started when this poor kat (fur reasons unknown to anybody but God), suddenly began to make furiends
with the creature in this photo. His “owners” say they can’t imagine what he was thinking.


This is a very sad and frightening event, as kats and humans alike are baffled as to what could possibly have caused this, since everyone knows kats avoid creatures at all costs.

Scientists and vets all over America are debating whether this is some strange new virus- but no one knows fur sure, because the KATS seem to be in PURRFECT health otherwise!

And as if that wasn’t scary enough, some kats are also beginning to commit the UNPARDONABLE kat sin of befriending….(brace yourselves)- DOGS!!!

Look at these disturbing images we found…(truly troubling)…




Oh my FLEAS!



Well, furiends, I have to say I’m just flippin flabbergasted. Let’s just say I hope they’re working on a VACCINE!


Tragic. Just tragic.

This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. Good day.

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