All posts tagged KAT 9 NEWS


Published September 22, 2015 by hairballexpress

Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs! This is Shrimp bringing you a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

šŸ”¹Disturbing new kat haircuts irritating felines everywhere 

It seems that some of your well-meaning humans are taking grooming just a little too far…

As in our first example, “The Rainbow Kitty.”

We attempted to interview “rainbow kitty,” but since none of our reporters could catch her, we enlisted a K9 officer to help us locate her. Sadly, he is recovering in ICU at the animal hospital. 

Example # 2 We did our best to also locate “Leo the Lion,” but in spite of countless bags of treats, no one was able to coax him out from under the bed- (But rumor has it that he wasn’t thrilled with his new do).

Example #3


Okay, our reporters won’t even appuroach “Doggie kitty -” their life insurance won’t pay enough!

And, yet another unhappy kat….example #4

  And ANOTHER example, #5


So, there you have it – the latest trend in “kat haircuts.”

We purrsonally can’t help but agree with Sir Fluffster (below), who escaped his groomer when he figured out what was happening…

 Well said, Sir Fluffster!
This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. Good day.

šŸ­ Photos courtesy of Pinterest & Cheezeburger šŸ­


Published August 3, 2015 by hairballexpress

Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs.

Today I have an urgent weather forecast fur you all – 

KAT 9 NEWS radar has located both a hurricaine and a tornado headed this way – there’s a 70 purrcent chance of the hurricaine hitting over the next few hours while at the same time, hot on the heels of Hurricane Kade,” a pink tornado has also been spotted wreaking wherever havoc it goes.

So get ready to lock up the windows and doors and refrigerator, because there’s a 99% chance of chaos, breakage, and irritation headed your way (sorry dudes)!

Here’s how the hurricaine looks on the radar….

It looks like it’s just getting started here…


I’m gonna be busy boarding up my windows, packing my nip, hiding my litterbox, and buying tickets to Japan – but while I do that, check out the pink tornado hot the heels of “Hurricane Kade!”šŸ™€


Oh my FLEAS! It’s worse than I thought! SEE YA!

…(This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS!)! 

        *ZOOMS UNDER the bed *


Published July 15, 2015 by hairballexpress

  Greetings Furiends, Fuzzballs and Fleabags – this is Shrimp with a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

šŸ”¹Kats dealing with unemployment 

As hard as it may be fur some of you humans to believe, Kats also are feeling the stress of joblessness. 

Contrary to popular opinion, Kats like to be self – sufficient, with most kats working at night while their humans sleep.

Kats are employed in many jobs – like this fellow who was employed at a local deli until they let him go- now he is reduced to stealing while he awaits further employment. 


Tragically, this is the fate of many kats now as they wait fur the economy to impurrove. 

And in other news, while some kats are busy job hunting (while also mouse hunting), other kats are getting serious about fitness – like this kat, who teaches yoga at night:

And his faithful fellow instructor….  

And this kat has used his carpentry skills for his employment – good job!

Why, even Basement Kat has had to look fur employment – as a plumber!

But purrhaps the saddest fate of all, rests on this poor little dude – who had  to resort to babysitting creatures fur his Fancy Feast –


Is a sad day fur kats, folks. 

This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. 

Good day. 

KAT 9 NEWS Weather Bulletin

Published June 19, 2015 by hairballexpress

Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs. 

I have interrupted my extreme workout to bring you this special weather bulletin from KAT 9 NEWS!

After having sunshine and clear skies fur a few weeks, I hate to break it to ya, but there’s a hurricane on the radar fur the Plains (and anybody living there). 

Below is a picture of the area which seems calm fur the purresent, but trust me – that’s not gonna last.


Uh oh – it looks like it sprung up sooner than I expected…

Oh my %><*^Ā£>Ā£%^>ā‚¬ !!!!!!!!!! 

Run fur your lives!


This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS – BYE!      

        *darts under bed trembling*


Published May 20, 2015 by hairballexpress


Greetings Humans, Fleabags, and Fuzzballs. 

This is Shrimp bringing you a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

Kats face charges fur “fixing” their human’s trampoline 


Brothers Tubs and Bubs found themselves on the wrong side of the law after they decided to take matters into their own paws when their human skimped on cheap kat food instead of their usual favorite.

Appurently they had warned the human previously that the bargain brands, while saving money at the grocery store, also brought with them severe penalties. 

The brothers say the human just muttered something about them being “cute,” so they decided it was time to act decisively.  

However, brother Bubs claims that when he “adjusted the trampoline,” he didn’t know the human would actually hit the top of the Empire State building, and he’s “deeply sorry” fur all the humans’ fractures. Right.

KAT found loitering in museum breaks 3,000 year old vase 


Authorities are looking fur a stray kat who they say is responsible fur a break in (literally) of the Purrthenon Museum in Greece.

The kat was said to be lounging inside a 3,000 year old vase believed to have belong to some guy (with a name I can’t purrnounce)- who lived around 985 BC. UnFURtunately, he stretched and knocked the vase from its pedestal and onto the marble floor where it shattered.

Museum authorities say they plan to sue the kat fur damages. Good luck with that.


This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. Good Day!
  ā˜• Photos courtesy of Pinterest  ā˜•

%d bloggers like this: