jealous cats

All posts tagged jealous cats

Kat diary 

Published August 8, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans! 😺 ☕️ 

This is your lucky day — you get to see pictures of cute little me being,…well, CUTE!!😹 

Aren’t you excited?


The flippin human finally dropped everything to just play with me because she and human #2 noticed I was getting a little jealous of her spending so much time with Tori – 

(Gee, human, ya’ THINK)?

Yeah, I know, Tori’s humans are hurting right now, but they’re flippin going to be hurting A LOT MORE of I keep having to share my human. She’s MY slave – I mean, “Human!”

*sharpens claws*

But, the good news is, the neighbor is getting released from the rehab center this Wednesday and I get my human all to my cute little self again!!😺 

You can tell how thrilled Tori is….


I talked to Tori through the screen door yesterday and made it clear that the human is MINE – and she needs to get her own can opener!

Let’s hope her human is a good girl and comes home to Tori so my flippin human can spoil me again like I deserve! 😾


Until then – it’s time fur me to go mess up those freshly washed clean sheets the human is trying to put on the bed! 😹 MWAHAHAHA!

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Shrimp’s Kat diary 

Published July 15, 2016 by hairballexpress

8:00 pm  Purrs day, July – something. 


Well once again, that flippin human is next door with the neighbor’s Kat.

I stole her iPhone today while she was distracted with the Creature, so I could text my 525th boyfriend, “Crusher”- and I saw all these pictures of Tori on “her” phone! 😾 

*Why that dirty, rotten scoundrel!

I knew she was going in and out of the house several times a day, but I didn’t really believe her when she said she was “checking the mail” fur the 15th time today –

And just LOOK at all these flippin pictures!!!


But then, right when I was starting to get upset at the human, I saw this text she sent one of her grown creatures this morning –


Threatening MY HUMAN?? AWWWW HECK NO!! 


THAT’S MY JOB.

I’m going to go over and have a yowling session under the neighbor’s bedroom window and let her know exactly what I think of her threatening my human!
(Like, what time do we want to do this, your claws, or mine)? 

MWAHAHAHA!!!😹 

Creature Feature: (or) “Creature Comforts”

Published June 25, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans – 😺☕️

Fur the last several days, the human has been waking up earlier and flying out the door like a flippin ROCKET without purroperly snuggling me first- (fur at LEAST AN hour)!

Well, today I decided to investigate and see where the flea she’s been going! 

I caught her in action! Now I know why she hasn’t been snuggling me as much…

Look at the EVIDENCE I gathered!  😾

 



And this isn’t all – but I’m so flippin tired from my investigative efforts, I’ll have to purrsent the rest of it to you tomorrow!


Now let me ask you one thing – 

Do I look amused?? 😾


       *sulks and slithers under the bed *

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand when you’re 100…”

Published April 1, 2015 by hairballexpress

…”But then, of course, you’ll die all of a sudden…”.   – the Creature 

 

So, today was a day of thunderstorms, and the Creature had to stay inside all day (let us purray)…

 I’m still trying to recover…

I don’t think there’s enough Fancy Feast on this whole PLANET to get me over this one!

You see, after the human picked the Creature up from school, they had lunch and talked about all these different Creature issues and then the human started folding laundry, and all of a sudden BAM! 

The human was whapped upside the head with a balloon sent on a special mission by the pink tornado! 😸

She batted the blatant bobbing balloon back at the Creature (spilling her coffee all over the place at the same time)- and of course, the Creature erupted with hysterical laughter…(dude – I’m so OUTTA HERE)!

All of a sudden the Creatures’ pink missile was flying from one corner of the house to another in a flurry of fists (while the this poor kat trembled under the couch). No doubt they would’ve laughed themselves sick if they’d seen my tail then! 😾 

  

My poor little tail… 

On and on it went, and the Creature told the human, “Ask me what’s wrong with this balloon and why it keeps coming to hit you on the head!” 

Uh, I’m just the KAT, but I think that’s purrty obvious…

So the human asked – just to see what she’d say.  Her answer was,

“Don’t worry, honey – you’ll understand when you’re 100 – but then, of course, you’ll die all of a sudden!”

MWAHAHAHA 😹 OH MY FLEAS!!

Creature Feature 

Published March 10, 2015 by hairballexpress

Oh my KATS!




The Creature is sick – that means I have to be extra careful to stay out of sight – the Creature always wants something warm and fuzzy when she doesn’t feel good… and even when she does, dangit!

You’d think that she’d head fur one of her 600 stuffed unicorns, bears, kats, ponies, raccoons, dogs or fuzzy blankies- but oh no – she wants the KAT!🙀 



And not just any kat – it’s gotta be a beautiful, silky soft, ultra furry, ultra sweet and ultra smart kat – (me)!

Of course, honestly I can’t blame her – (I am purrty pawsome)- but FUR KATS’ SAKE!  *(tail FLAP)!*  Being so cute is such a curse!

And of course, the human has her paws full trying to keep it entertained… But today even a new box of crayons and a new box of colored pencils isn’t doing it. 

And the human has been extra friendly with her Keurig this morning – she’s visited it at least 6 times since 5:30 this morning when she (literally) stumbled out of bed.

I think she’s married to that thing… ☕💗



Poor little Creature feels so miserable even I feel sorry fur her (almost)-

But then she hears the jingle of that flippin bell the human put on my collar and all of a sudden I’m running fur my life! 😾 

Meanwhile, she’s so busy tending to the Creature that she’s only brushed me ONCE today (Flippin KAT ABUSE)!

Well, at least she remembered to feed me….so far!

*(pout)*

Creature Feature 

Published February 25, 2015 by hairballexpress





The Creature struck early today – and turned my Flippin day upside down while she single – handedly monopolized my humans’ attention fur the whole flippin day!





Looks innocent, huh? Not if you’re the KAT!

The human got her ready fur school and made her breakfast – and after breakfast it was story time.





Then after The Fox and The Hound, it was time to leave fur school.

And after school – OH MY FLEAS! 🙀



















She drew an ice cream cone – but I’m PURRty sure that wasn’t on the menu fur dinner!

Well – I’ll just show you the pictures – the human is too exhausted to tell me the story – she just came home muttering something about therapy….?



Poor little horsey…



















They’d Better keep her away from MY tail!



What the flea?



Oh great. ANOTHER victim – Oh well, better him than ME!





So the human falls asleep the first time she sits down for more than 3 minutes, and they wonder why I’m addicted to nip! 😹

KAT TRIBULATIONS

Published January 25, 2015 by hairballexpress

It’s the Flippin Pink Tornado!

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Right when I thought it was safe, the flippin PINK TORNADO came back!

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It’s a dangerous world out there- a world of flippin flying ponies, and giraffe “soup,” and ruffles that speed by on their own accord….

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Kat ears that aren’t kat ears on a Creature that shouldn’t have kat ears,
And Jenga towers waiting to collapse at a single breath (and fall on the kat, of course,)…and Creatures crawling out of the woodwork!

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And then there’s squeals of delight when the Creature puts a “real word” on the flippin Scrabble board, and the puzzle pieces flying by the KATS’ head!

Meanwhile the human gets a headache, (and a backache, and an “everything- else- ache),” and her energy’s zapped, so she can barely open a flippin can of Fancy Feast, and all her time is spent entertaining the Creature from “Ponyville,” and she falls asleep when I sit on her lap to snuggle!

And there’s Minnie Mouse waffles, and stickers and peanut butter and jelly fingers grabbing at my lovely fur!

And then…

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I’m flippin EXHAUSTED!

😾Flippin Creatures!😾

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