fancy feast

All posts tagged fancy feast

Attention gods of Fancy Feast- Urgent!

Published September 4, 2014 by hairballexpress

The big creature is enjoying her last free day before school starts tomorrow. Playing with some weird stuff outside in the sun-

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Making a cake?

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Oh MY KATS! I hope she’s not making my dinner…

Looks like the human and I are going to be having a very serious talk!

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The “cake”

*Praying to the Fancy Feast gods that THAT isn’t my dinner*

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And then, “Gin-Gin, (her pet name fur the human)- “you’re spending too much time with Baby Kade!”

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Uh oh. I smell a battle…*(packing up my nip & litterbox)…*

Grudge list

Published May 12, 2014 by hairballexpress

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Well, thanks to Mother’s Day, I spent ALMOST the ENTIRE day all by my little self yesterday while the humans went out fur their “special plans.”

The Creature, its mother and father, and human # 2 had the WHOLE thing PLANNED! And worst of all, they went to a fancy restaurant and treated my human to a feast and dessert, without at least bringing me along in the human’s bag!

There’s absolutely no excuse for that nonsense, especially since her bag is big enough to hide a flippin spaceship in!

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I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to fly out of here this morning without first brushing me, telling me how beautiful I am, and feeding me Treats!

This is a most serious violation!

And when she came home, all she had fur me was SIX cans of Fancy Feast!  Why, that’s not even enough fur breakfast, let alone a decent peace offering!  *(pout)*

I’m afraid it may be necessary to trade the humans in fur a newer model. *(sigh*)!

I’ll sleep on it, then decide…

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*(purrs)*

“The kat seller”

Published May 10, 2014 by hairballexpress

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Today the human spent the whole day with the Creature….(I know-crazy)!

The Creature got the kat encyclopedia and purrceded to “read it” to the human as the human sipped countless cups of coffee in a desperate attempt to wake up and make sense of it all.

She was telling the human which kats had tails and which kats didn’t….(they all did, but try convincing the Creature who didn’t want them all to have tails).

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She purrtended to read their names, which the human also purrtended to accept as gospel truth (yet ANOTHER reason to question her sanity), but I don’t care WHAT they say, I don’t believe fur one minute that every kat on those pages was named “Rainbow Dash,” “Fluttershy,” “Princess Celestia,” and
“Applejack!”

Then the Creature tried to SELL every kat in that book to my human fur the low, LOW PRICE of only $ 9.00!

“HURRY!  At prices like this they won’t last long!”

When the human tired of “buying” all 874 kats in the encyclopedia, and refused to
“purchase” anymore kats, the Creature suddenly decided she had good news –

“They’re NOT KATS, THEY’RE REALLY DOGS!” 
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*(sigh)*  They can’t pay me enough Fancy Feast to put up with this! *(tail flap)*

“Bless me Kitty, for I have sinned” (or) Smart ways to beg your kat’s furgiveness:

Published January 12, 2014 by hairballexpress
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The human holding me after she wiped my eyes

Sometimes these humans just don’t get it.
No matter how many times a kat teaches them the rules they still blow it and get in trouble with the kat. Idiots!

So what happens if you’re the moron human who is in trouble with your kat?
How do you make it right and get back in the kat’s good graces?

Lucky fur you, I’m here to give you some tried and true tricks.

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My purrsonal favorite: Fancy Feast

♚ My purrsonal favorite- Fancy Feast.
( the more expensive the can, the better the effect.) This is not the time to get cheap.

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Ultimate favorite

♚ The ultimate favorite(next to a fresh caught whale, of course, which most of you humans are too cheap to buy).

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Treats are always a plus.

♚ Fur the treat addict, (or fur lesser offenses, like waking up late)….

Of course, there are always those times when you’ve really blown it big, like stepping on the kat’s tail, and you need something a little more effective….

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Buying your kat a gift...

♚ Times like this, buying your Kat a gift, like a Teddy bear is a good start… Especially when combined with kissing the paw and groveling shamelessly.

And then there are times when you’re just plain toast. When you did something so unfurgivable that your kat is plotting to kill you. (God help you)!

Fur those times you have to think outside the litterbox.

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Favorite playthings

♚ Buy a truckload of your kats’ favorite toys…..

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Keep the Creatures at bay

♚ Fur the love of God, KEEP THE CREATURES AT BAY!

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Buy your kat an unusual treat....

♚ When your kat is ticked enough to plot your demise, buy him an unexpected (exotic, and expensive) treat. Delicious!

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Cash works too

♚ And, if your kat is STILL ticked, bribery works great.

Good luck.

Photo credits:

Photo of me, Fancy Feast, Tuna, Treats, and Teddy Bear by the human.

All other photos courtesy of
Morguefile. com

It’s the 2013 Blog of the Year Award- all 6 Stars now!!!

Published December 25, 2013 by hairballexpress
All 6 stars finally!!! Thank  you Readers!! I love you!

All 6 stars finally!!!
Thank you Readers!!
I love you!

Dude(s). I am so exhausted! I’ve only had 13 of my usual 18 naps today. Fur some reason I just can’t sleep – must have been the human’s coffee I sneaked while she was on the phone….(?)

Well, since I’m up anyway, and can’t find a flippin bug to save my life, I think it’s time to get caught up on posting my awards!

I was presented the first one (and my first star) on Dec.1 – (but couldn’t post about it until Dec.5th). Dang human keeps me too busy earning my fancy feast. One of my favorite book bloggers gave me the first award (already written about)…but purrs again to my furiend at authorstehpaniethomas…thank you sweet human!

I was presented the second one on Dec. 2!  Awarded by Roxy & Tigerlino @ purrfectkitties! Bless their furry little hearts!!

THEN,

I was presented the third one on Dec.6th!! That time it was awarded by my fellow feline Yelloz @ fourcatpaw! Thank you Yelloz!

I was presented the fourth one on Dec.7th- This time by my furiend Vijay Shah at halfeatenmind…(I just love you, dude)!  and THEN,….

BEFORE I COULD TAKE MY NOSE OUT OF MY FANCY FEAST, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!

I was presented with the fifth one! On Dec. 8th! This time it was awarded me by Roxy & Tigerlino (again)!

and last, but NOT LEAST,…..

I was presented with the final sixth star on Dec.9 (the human’s birthday)!!! This time awarded by another favorite book blogger furiend – @ cleopatralovesbooks!

I am one excited kat! Thank you to all my readers, and my blogging furiends- it makes my furry little day that you read my (very important complaints- I mean, THOUGHTS)!  If I could, I’d give you all a ton of tuna!

And now, to pass on the award to a few of my favorite bloggers….(purrs):

>>The Adventures of Chasey-Clown & G-Bear  

>> Three Cat Yard

>> Darkcreekfarm

>> 2 Blind cats and Crew

>> Clowie’s Corner

 

Concatulations to all my nominees, and thank you all SOOOOOO much! Purrs and sunpuddles to ya!

Now the coffee’s wearing off,….time to take a nap! Merry Christmas!

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