Creatures

All posts tagged Creatures

Deer Santa Claws

Published December 15, 2015 by hairballexpress

Deer Santa Claws;

In case you don’t remember me, this is Shrimp- (the smartest, coolest Kat in the Northwest).   
Last year I asked you fur a whale. I even told you that if it was too hard fur you to stuff into the chimney, you could just plop it into the bathtub. You didn’t give my my whale. 😾

I’m sure that by now some other Kat has enjoyed MY nice, juicy whale, so let’s just move on. 

After all, you are only human, and we kats know that humans aren’t all that well stacked in the brain dept.

Besides, now that the Creature’s Mom and Dad are threatening to have MORE creatures, my needs have changed somewhat. Here’s my updated demand – I mean, WISH LIST:

  • Full (feline) body armor (size small)
  • Invisibility cloak 
  • Auto sharpen claws (size extra large, please)
  • Light saber
  • Darth Vader helmet and cloak (size small – pink please)
  • Fresh canary (Hold the cage)
  • Anti dog spray (50 lb. Can). 

Please get it right this time, and I promise I’ll leave your milk and cookies alone.

Shrimp 

    KAT 9 NEWS SPECIAL REPORT 

    Published August 3, 2015 by hairballexpress

     
    Greetings Humans, Fleabags and Fuzzballs.

    Today I have an urgent weather forecast fur you all – 

    KAT 9 NEWS radar has located both a hurricaine and a tornado headed this way – there’s a 70 purrcent chance of the hurricaine hitting over the next few hours while at the same time, hot on the heels of Hurricane Kade,” a pink tornado has also been spotted wreaking wherever havoc it goes.

    So get ready to lock up the windows and doors and refrigerator, because there’s a 99% chance of chaos, breakage, and irritation headed your way (sorry dudes)!

    Here’s how the hurricaine looks on the radar….

    It looks like it’s just getting started here…

     

     
     
      
    I’m gonna be busy boarding up my windows, packing my nip, hiding my litterbox, and buying tickets to Japan – but while I do that, check out the pink tornado hot the heels of “Hurricane Kade!”🙀

     

    Oh my FLEAS! It’s worse than I thought! SEE YA!

    …(This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS!)! 

            *ZOOMS UNDER the bed *

    Wednesday’s List: things kats hate

    Published July 1, 2015 by hairballexpress

     

    There are lots of things we kats hate – but this is one of those things at the top of the list –

    We get that you humans like to take your creatures out to fun places, and we really don’t have a purroblem with that –

    (Please take them out!!!)

     
     
    The purroblem (from the kats’ point of view), is….

     
    Wait fur it….  

    Bringing them BACK! 😾 *(tail FLAP)!*

     
    *(pout)*😾

    Thursday “Therapy”

    Published March 12, 2015 by hairballexpress

    

    Okay, so I know today is supposed to be “Thursday Therapy” fur you poor, overworked, underpaid and stressed out humans. 

    But dude – sometimes we kats need therapy!😾

    

    

    First it started when the Creature got all hopped up on ONE of these –

    

    Oh my Kats! 

    

    Then she decides to do the dishes – which was okay, until she asked the human (as the water was running in the sink)- “Where’s Shrimp?”

    Do you have any idea what that does to a kat?

    I flew under the bed so fast I took the rug with me! 

    Then I heard “the humans'” phone ring, and thought maybe it was my date fur tonight (I gave him the human’s phone number)- but it was a text alert – Guess who it was from?

    

    Oh my Flippin FLEAS! 🙀

    Then my date fur tonight showed up –

    

    Seriously? 😾

    And that’s not the worst part – he asked what I wanted to do and like any other kat in her right mind, I said I wanted to get some nip and lock the Creatures away and have A BOX PARTY! 

    But guess what? He said he wanted to play WITH THE CREATURES and, he said I have a nip PURRoblem! 

    But you’re the one wearing the bunny costume….

    You know, I’ve heard the human telling the Creature that an apple a day is good fur her – I’m starting to think she just may be right…

    

    I think I’m going to get an apple fur my “date!”😼

         🐭Quote pin courtesy of Pinterest 🐭

    Fifty (More) Shades of Stupid 

    Published March 5, 2015 by hairballexpress

    

    Here are some things that baffle me and make me scratch my head;

    

    What moron came up with the idea that it would be FUN fur a kat to get captured by a creature?

    

    Why don’t they let kats bathe the dog?  

    If you’re going to force us to put up with the idiots, at least make it fun!😼

    

    Really?

    

    Sorry to say, advertising has gone to the dogs. *(shakes head)*

    And humans? Well, see fur yourselves;

    

    Know WHY they go outside? BECAUSE THEIR KATS GET FED UP AND FLIPPIN LOCK THEM OUT! 😹

    

    And let’s don’t even talk about their “stories!”

    

    And from the looks of things, the KAT could do a better job with their money -(after fancy feast, toys, treats, nip, Netflix, WiFi, and locks fur the dog and the Creatures).

    

    Speaking of Stupid…. Need I say more?

    I need some nip – goodnight! 💤


    😺Photos courtesy of Pinterest & THEMETAPICTURE.COM 😺

    %d bloggers like this: