angry cats

All posts tagged angry cats

Kat 9 News Special Report: KAT PLOTS DEATH OF “Human” – the Story

Published June 25, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans 😾

This is Shrimp reporting fur Kat 9 News.

  • Kat decides to dispose of purroblem “owner”

Well, okay, so it’s after 11. Deal with it.

After all, who actually expects a Kat to be on schedule?

Well folks, this is it. 

Yesterday started out nice and peaceful – the human was being a good little human and got up at 5:00 am so we had playtime.

At least, that’s what poor innocent little me thought -(and we did play, but then,)…

Two things happened that no Kat should have to endure- here’s the first- (and least offensive of the two)….

Yes, that’s right. She got me all excited to play and then ONLY SPENT a flippin half hour playing with me, then got the Creature and took her out on her scooter fur a looooooooong ride, and then took her out to a restaurant fur PIE!! 

And not just any old pie- 

SMORES pie with itty bitty Hershey bars, marshmallows, and baby teddy grahams on it –  and not only did she NOT bring home some fur me- after playing with the Creature all flippin day – but when she came home and the Creature left to go home…..

She took ME to the flippin VET! *tail SMACK!*

I wasn’t able to get any pictures, because I was too busy removing the humans’ makeup with my claws and climbing the flippin walls – but that flippin vet poked and prodded my belly (and other places that I won’t name)- and did very rude things with the thermometer, and weighed me….(Is she trying to say I’m FAT)??

Then she took my BLOOD!! (The human could’ve donated hers by the time I was done with her). *HISS*

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, she said I had worms-(But I didn’t bring anything with me – except fur my whiskers and claws and a ton of cuteness)! 

So because of that, she put stuff on my back to kill the worms (appurently I have to give up eating mice). *sighs*

Then, she turned my flippin ear right side out to clean it- (thanks to that brilliant human of mine telling her I’d been scratching my left ear a lot and that I seemed “sensitive” to it being touched and to loud noises).

The next thing I know, she’s teaching the human how to give me this huge tube of Medicine in my EAR-  (EVERY FLIPPIN DAY FUR 7 DAYS)!  

*sharpens claws *


The vet combed me with a flea comb looking for fleas (I didn’t know fleas like to be brushed)? 

And she didn’t find any at all – (thanks to my Pawsome SERESTO collar) – and then, the lab test results came back (tested fur FELINE HIV and FELINE LEUKEMIA)- and both tests were negative…and while the human let out a sigh of relief, I wanted to jump off the table because appurently the vet decided I needed to have it and have me A SHOT!😾

The human tells me the shot is something to make sure I DON’T get it – but I’m not so sure I believe her. She’s a flippin crafty thing –

Here’s the purroof:

At least I have the comfort of knowing the idiot had to pay fur all that harassment. 

But -check this out – She’s going do it AGAIN in a few weeks! 😾

(But she’ll have to find me first)!


This is Shrimp reporting fur Kat 9 News.
And it HASN’T been a good day. *sighs*

Ps. Donations of tuna, treats, nip and body armour welcome.

The Vet Threat 😾

Published January 13, 2016 by hairballexpress

Well, the human has done it now! 

I woke up to a Purrfectly lovely (rainy) day looking furward to a nice, quiet morning with both my humans spoiling me while they had their morning coffee and telling me how Purrfect I am…

But then the human got up (before I dismissed her), and started getting dressed earlier than usual. I knew something was up right then. 

A few minutes later I followed her into the kitchen and discovered the Kat carrier was open on the couch! 🙀

Uh oh – and off we went to THE VET!


I cried and wailed as pathetically as I could  – but the dang human plopped me on the table anyway!😾

Now, the vet was very sweet – (I secretly love her – but that’s beside the point)- but she poked and prodded and rubbed and did unspeakable (very RUDE) THINGS WITH THE THERMOMETER – – and all the while my flippin human just stood there and watched! *sharpens claws*

But after awhile, she did start talking about what a cute little sweetheart I am (so I’ll only slash ONE of her tires),and she told the human I’m very healthy -(and 9.4 lbs of cattitude). 

She said she didn’t find anything wrong with me (But I found plenty wrong with her)- except fur conjunctivitis in my eyes. 

Well if that moron human would quit wiping my eyes I wouldn’t have it! *tail FLAP!*

So finally, she said my teeth look great, and I’m a healthy little girl and let me go giving the human medicine fur my eyes and “lysine” fur my food – (why the flea does my food need medicine)?

Anyway, I’m FINALLY back home now – exhausted – and not talking to that moron human!😾

Flippin humans.

Published January 10, 2016 by hairballexpress

The can openers went on a date tonight – and left me here all by my cute little self WITHOUT MY iPhone! 😾

On top of that, they came back from the pet store with something fur me, but it WASN’T a nice fresh whale, or a mouse, or a fish or a canary – it was a flippin BOW! *tail FLAP!*

Great. How am I going to explain this to my furiends?


Of course, they did sweeten the deal by buying ME a new TV….(I don’t know why the dummies insist it’s theirs). It’s obvious that it was designed fur me.

It’s almost enough to make me furgive them fur this ridiculous bow. 

Almost…. *sharpening claws*

Happy Halloween Indeed! *HUFF!*

Published October 31, 2015 by hairballexpress

I can’t believe I let that moron human do this to me….   I should’ve known something was up when she walked into the bedroom with a new bag of treats in one hand, and something hidden behind her back in the other hand…  …And she was talking about how “adorable” I was going to look… (What do you mean, “going”)?And then,….She decides to take PICTURES TOO?


Now, about that nip…


    🐹 Meme courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐹

%d bloggers like this: