It’s a Dog Gone Shame!

Published August 12, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans. 🙀 ☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

Pardon me while I drink a few gallons of coffee to settle my nerves,… (Now where is my nip stash)?

Oh what a day this has been!

First, the Creature arrived before 7:30 this morning, and right when I was beginning to adjust to her antics, and settle down a little bit, the human decided to vacuum! 🙀

She knows how I feel about that obnoxious electronic beast, but she just insists on tormenting me with that thing – so I darted under the bed before she could suck up my tail with it.

Well, I was hiding under the bed, trembling, and waiting for that pawful noise to stop, when the Creature called out to the human from outside the bedroom door.

Appurently, one of the human’s furiends had come by -with something following her RIGHT INTO MY SANCTUARY!!

CHECK IT OUT!

*tail FLAP!*😾

I mean, dude – That thing is ten times my size – and NOISY!! And he DROOLED within ten feet of my food! *sharpens claws*

Wonderful. Now the Creature has a co- conspirator!

Well, appurently it’s time to quit playing “nice kitty,” and start to demand clearance – of all creatures, and those snorty dogs too!

Any volunteers!?

Monday’s List: Why you DON’T need a dog

Published April 11, 2016 by hairballexpress

Well, it’s that time of year again. 😾

Creatures are out playing and people are walking those overgrown fleabags who love to leave their signature on poor, innocent fire hydrants, and leave very rude surprises in the neighbor’s yards, and try to make kats’ lives miserable.

Just in case any of you start getting weird ideas about getting one of those flea-bitten fur collections, here’s a few examples to help enlighten you…

Need I say more?

🐹 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐹

Monday’s List: (or)….

Published March 7, 2016 by hairballexpress

Why you DON’T need a dog.

Greetings humans. ☕️ 😺

I can’t believe it, but the humans tell me there’s still a bunch of you who THINK you need a dog. My question to you is,

What the flea have you been SMOKING?

Here – since you’re obviously not thinking clearly, let’s see if I can help.

Reasons why you DON’T need a dog;

1.) Well, need I say more?

2.) Lawsuits from the mailman -(and the pizza guy, and the delivery guy, and,)…

3.) They’re jealous -(and they have “doggie breath”).

4.) They’re…well,…dumb as ROCK!😹

5.) They ruin your shoes.

6.) They don’t like it when you like us kats.

7.) They’re messy…(And terrible at lying).

8.) They’re no match fur a Kat.😼

Wednesday’s List:

Published June 17, 2015 by hairballexpress

A picture guide – kats vs (dumb) dogs

You know, a kat could go on all day about why we kats are superior to dogs. But in the interest of PURRserving my naptime, I’ve decided to keep it short and (not so) sweet! 😸

We wake up our humans so they don’t need those annoying alarm clocks.

Who ever heard of a kat barking all night?

Kats KNOW when breakfast is served!

No self respecting kat would walk around in a clown outfit!

Need I say more?

It was a stuffed toy, idiot!

Caught again, dummy! 😹

Kats are great at first aid.

Dogs break the rules – kats MAKE the rules!

Any questions?😹

😸 photos courtesy of Pinterest & Cheezeburger 😸

Fifty Shades of Stupid – (or why kats are smarter than dogs)

Published June 3, 2015 by hairballexpress

What I’m about to say isn’t news to any kat (believe me)…😹

But just in case some of you were entertaining the ridiculous idea of getting a dog, I’m here to remind you of some very important reasons not to. (Take notes)!