Kat 9 News Special Report

Greetings humans, fleabags and fuzzballs. 

This is Shrimp interrupting my flippin playtime to bring you an urgent Special Report.

• Kats lead revolt to spur slow humans to action

There’s a new trend in Oregon that has some pet purrents concerned. 

Kats have increasingly become fed up with their humans taking their dear sweet time feeding them, because they can’t pull themselves away from their iPhones, iPads, and other electronics (including the TV). 

One brilliant Kat, Sir Twitchy from Springfield- has an excellent idea to nip the purroblem. Observing that these devices need to be charged often, he has started a movement among kats in Springfield, to find a way to “Occupy the chargers!”

So far, it works brilliantly, as the reluctant tech zombies realize that nothing short of the rapture or an earthquake is going to move the hungry kats away from the chargers. Hmmm….good move there, Sir Twitchy!

• Angry Kat cooks bothersome birds 

Well, I think this picture is purrty self explanatory – but just in case you happen to be one of those slow-witted humans, I’ll spell it out fur ya…

Another Oregon kat – Colonel Mustard – decided to take matters into his own paws, when a seagull that stood in his humans’ driveway mocking him every day, purrvoked him fur the last time.

Sources tell us they suspect fowl play (mainly because the snoopy neighbor next door took this picture).

So there you have it, folks. 

It was Colonel Mustard – in the backyard – with the BBQ grill.

This has been Shrimp reporting fur Kat 9 News. Good day.

    🐹 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐹