Greetings, humans. 😺 ☕️
I was hanging out on the bed, taking a nice leisurely bath while the human sat near me, listening to the pouring rain, and reading. It was heavenly.
But all of a sudden the human got the bright idea to trim my nails, clean my ears, clean my teeth, brush my tail and belly and put paw gel on me!
I looked over and saw all her weapons of Kat destruction, and decided to get the heck out of there!
Wouldn’t you know, the flippin window was closed!😾 *shakes head / flaps tail *
Moron.
hairballexpress 
You tell her, Shrimp. A clean cat like yourself does not need all that stuff, unless you have a medical condition.You poor cat now have to lick all that s**t out of your fur and from your paws.
It is not as if you are a degenerate Persian breed, you look quite capable of taking care of yourself.
*Wonders if I should try that on my two, too? Naaa. They would kill me.*
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Oh I told her alright – it didn’t take her long to figure out that she wasn’t going to get her paws on me! And, I let her know in no uncertain terms that I KNOW WHERE SHE SLEEPS!!! 😹 MWAHAHAHA!!
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I never had to bath my two – or manicure their claws (they do it themselves and have scratching devices and can even scratch on my couch-table). And for cream on their paws – no effing way would I get that on their paws, they would slice me nicely.
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Lucky kats! I don’t get a bath anymore- but sometimes the human wipes me down with baby wipes (it helps with shedding, and (According to Dr Oz), reduces allergens)- and I don’t mind that so much because the human warms them a little first!
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You are truly a beautiful meowed and so lucky to be a member of such a loving family! Grooming is a good thing:)
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Not fur the human…😾*sharpens claws *
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