Kat 9 News Special Report 

Published January 13, 2016 by hairballexpress

Greetings humans, fleabags, and fuzzballs! 

This is Shrimp coming to you today with a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

🔹 Grumpy Kat fur Purresident?   


With the purresidential debates heating up in the US, many of those brainless humans are wondering if it’s time to put a female in the the Oval Office.

I say it’s definitely time- fur a feline female! Namely, Grumpy Kat.

From a kat’s purrspective (and the majority of humans surveyed)- Grumpy is better than any of the other candidates even with her lack of experience in the debate trenches- she has the cattitude to get the job done (and she’s cute)!

🔹 Kats “rude and condescending?” 


I can’t imagine what idiot has made the claim that we kats are rude, aloof, condescending, and passive – aggressive. 

But it’s come to our attention that this is how many of our slaves – excuse me, can openers – feel. What the flea! Morons!

Oh well,… In other news….

🔹 Some kats finding other uses for their previous prey 


It seems that humans aren’t the only ones with the entrepreneurial spirit –

Some kats have decided that gerbils have more beneficial uses than just breakfast. 

Take fur example, this smart Kat, Bill. He was lounging by the fireplace one day when he decided he was hungry and wanted some treats, but was too comfortable to get up and purrsuade the human to give him some.

That’s when he had an idea and a kat business was born! Let’s just say he  made the pet gerbil an offer he couldn’t refuse, and the little guy came scurrying back dragging the bag of treats behind him.

Since then, he has taught the gerbil to play fetch – “fetch the treats,” – “fetch the Fancy Feast,” – “Fetch the car keys,” – “Fetch the credit card…”

Hmmm. Maybe it’s time fur me to start a business! 😼

This has been Shrimp reporting fur Kat 9 News. Good day.

   🐭 Memes courtesy of Cheezeburger 🐭



8 comments on “Kat 9 News Special Report 

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