Published May 20, 2015 by hairballexpress


Greetings Humans, Fleabags, and Fuzzballs. 

This is Shrimp bringing you a special report from KAT 9 NEWS.

Kats face charges fur “fixing” their human’s trampoline 


Brothers Tubs and Bubs found themselves on the wrong side of the law after they decided to take matters into their own paws when their human skimped on cheap kat food instead of their usual favorite.

Appurently they had warned the human previously that the bargain brands, while saving money at the grocery store, also brought with them severe penalties. 

The brothers say the human just muttered something about them being “cute,” so they decided it was time to act decisively.  

However, brother Bubs claims that when he “adjusted the trampoline,” he didn’t know the human would actually hit the top of the Empire State building, and he’s “deeply sorry” fur all the humans’ fractures. Right.

KAT found loitering in museum breaks 3,000 year old vase 


Authorities are looking fur a stray kat who they say is responsible fur a break in (literally) of the Purrthenon Museum in Greece.

The kat was said to be lounging inside a 3,000 year old vase believed to have belong to some guy (with a name I can’t purrnounce)- who lived around 985 BC. UnFURtunately, he stretched and knocked the vase from its pedestal and onto the marble floor where it shattered.

Museum authorities say they plan to sue the kat fur damages. Good luck with that.


This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. Good Day!
  ☕ Photos courtesy of Pinterest  ☕


20 comments on “KAT 9 NEWS SPECIAL REPORT 

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