Deer Santa Claws,
Let me explain…
First of all, the hedgehog fell in the toilet on accident- you see, the human had just cleaned the bathroom and the toilet seat was slippery- I tried to help him, but the human had JUST CLIPPED MY CLAWS that very morning (too short, I might add)- so when I tried to help the poor little dude, I couldn’t get a good grip.
And about knocking the Christmas tree down, I was just checking to make sure the human had watered it- how was I supposed to know she didn’t water it at the top?
And about eating the roses in Mom Bonzo’s garden,well, I was just trying to show my approval of her gardening skills- and anyway, I couldn’t have eaten more than 3,250 fur the whole summer… (I’ve really been purracticing self control)!
And yes, I hissed at the creepy neighbor next door because he peeked In the bedroom window, and no I’m NOT sorry, and YES, I’LL DO IT AGAIN, because the bedroom is MY CASTLE, and anyway, he smells like a dirty ashtray! (HISS)!
And yes, I shredded the couch, but I only did it because I was trying to help the human convince her husband that they need new FURniture! So you see, it was really a public service! 😺
And yes, I know I should let the Creature dress me in doll clothes, paint my claws, put band aids on my ears, and barrettes on my tail, but, COME ON MAN! GIVE A KAT A BREAK!
And by the way, you MIGHT want to consider doing a background check on those elves of yours… This is what the human found when she walked into the Creature’s house this morning:
I think you should add HIM to your naughty list!
Your favorite kat, Shrimp 🐭