What kittens need to know about why humans buy kat toys

It’s been a while since I’ve addressed kitten concerns, so I think it’s time I warn all those sweet kittens who look up to me as the purrfect example of kathood concerning kat toys and the Humans who buy them.

All kats love to play, but really haven’t you ever wondered why they spend so much money on “kat toys?”

Still think they only love to see us kats having fun? HA!/>strong>
Here are 3 reasons that’s not true:

1.) Creatures!

Theysay they’re buying all these Pawsome kat toys fur us, but what they don’t tell you, is that they know their Creatures are going to take them and turn them into weapons of mass construction to use against the kat in the form of hair ties in a kat’s tail, barrettes clipped to the kats’ ears, balls, cars and Legos to be thrown at the kat, and doll clothes to be put on the kat, while KAT TOYS become creature toys only to disappear never to be seen (in one piece) again!

2.) humans just LOVE to watch us kats wiggle our rear ends and attack a kat toy with the determination of a warrior, only to watch us skid around the corner and slam into a wall as they laugh hysterically and then have the nerve to upload pictures and videos of our humiliation online fur all the world to see!

3.) humans love to play with the toys themselves! “KAT TOYS” are just a coverup fur their true intentions to record our mishaps while we’re playing, and “share them with the world,” while they hide the toys and play with them at the office while they’re “working!”

So kittens, take my advice and don’t fall fur the “toy trap”- do what any self respecting kat would do and ignore the toys they buy “fur you,” and choose your own playthings… Like the toilet paper and the car keys, and the paychecks (those are so much fun to shred)!

Quiz coming soon!