I checked out this Kat Online Dating Website yesterday and immediately had some responses from some handsome kats.
Of course, I was all excited and arranged to meet them last night. So let me tell you how it went…
First there was my favorite, Frenchie – I fell in love at first sight with this handsome thing….
"Frenchie"
Gorgeous, huh? NOT!!!
HERE’S WHAT SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR...
The humans almost had a heart attack –
And I flew under the bed at speeds I didn’t know I was capable of!
It turns out that “Frenchie” is a flippin HORSE!! (He conned the kat next door to his farm into posing fur the picture, and the kat is a flippin FEMALE! ) * HISS!!! *
I tossed him out on his four flippin hooves and told him to get lost!
I was mad as a hornet… But, I still had a date with Max to look furward to, so I groomed
myself (repeatedly), drowned my sorrows in a bucket of catnip, and got all prettied up fur Max…. Deer, handsome Max…..
"Max"
SOOOOO handsome……..
But THIS IS WHAT SHOWED UP……
WHAT THE FLEA IS THAT!?
Okay, this is not funny… I don’t know what the flea that is, but it’s NOT a kat!
He snagged a picture from his rich owners’ photo album of their Crazy Aunt Beluga’s animal menagerie. He had “always wanted to date a kat….”
Lucky me.
Then there was handsome “Swanky”….
"Swanky"
I LOVED those big, green eyes….. But once again…..Well…. Take a look………
"Swanky?"
“Swanky” turned out to be “Sissy”….. With anger issues!
What’s worse is she won’t say where she got the picture of “Swanky” so I can try to find him! Moron.
I was pretty upset after meeting the first three dates, but I thought surely, the fourth one will be worthwhile….
So I hurried off to meet Jake.
Jake
Bless my Fancy Feast! Jake is even more gorgeous in purrson than he is in his picture!!!!!!!
We fell fur each other right away……But we got over it as soon as his wife, his 5
(other) girlfriends, and his 400 kittens found us at the park.
*Sigh.* Its just as well. Between the pawimony and the kitten support, he wouldn’t be able to buy my Fancy Feast anyway. Poor Dude can’t even afford catnip.
(NEXT)!!
That left me with “The Dark Knight….”
"the Dark Knight"
Now I know why he’s called the “Dark Knight” – ten minutes after meeting him I wanted to knock him out!
Then there was one more date to meet...
“Blackie!” Cute little Blackie with the black and white bow tie. *Sigh* ♥
"Blackie"
♥ Blackie’s adorable….. And a little shy….♥
But he brought me a gift…..♥
What a delightful little snack!
And a kitten…♥
Oh well… Nobody’s purrfect! ** Swoons**
♥♥♥
hairballexpress 
I hope this doesn’t your purrsuit of happiness via online dating. Try, try again.
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Oh, don’t worry- I’ll keep trying. My Prince is out there someplace..(and he’d better not be sunning in a sunpuddle someplace with some young kitten!)
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Absolutely wonderful! Really well done!
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Why thank you, Furless One. Glad you enjoyed it. Going to find a different website. Not only did I NOT find “true love”- I DIDN’T EVEN FIND A FLIPPIN SPIDER FUR A CONSOLATION PRIZE! *(HISS!)*
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Oh those online dating services like Scratch.com… You meet them at a Kat Kafe and they aren’t who they say they are… The one’s that say they have a lot of fur end up are hairless and that wrinkly skin… but why am I telling you this.
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Never heard of Scratch.com..? Do good looking kats hang out there? And,..I’ve never yet encountered a kat that has no fur- but I’ll bet I will befur this is over! *(purrs)*!
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Oh beautiful Shrimp, I fell off the couch laughing at your dating woes! Dating sites! Your poor mom must be worried to death about who might be at the door next! Purrs and *giggles*
Marty and Mom
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Glad it made you smile! But the humans were’nt smiling when that 4 legged tooth fest showed up at the door! *(HISS)!!*
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Oh My Kats! You were right! They ARE friggin’ FREAKS!!!!! Geez, what morons!! (*shaking heads*) Well… don’t give up on love (yet), sweetie! Keep online dating! Even if you don’t find a Knight in Shining Armor there, the candidates are at least good for a laugh! 😆 And you know what they say about laughing being a great abs workout, right? So you’ll be doing something for your healt by meeting your online dates… Besides, it will be sooo much fun showing them the door, won’t it? Make sure to take a photo of their disappointed faces once they realize that they are not getting a shot at love with you… We can’t WAIT to see them!! 😉
And it’s not like you don’t already have a boyfriend, right… (*wink* *wink*) 😉 Lats time we checked you were proudly claiming over 308.000 kats as your boyfriends, right? So just have fun with them until the real Prince Charming comes along… We’re sure he’s already looking for you! Maybe he just haven’t found you yet…. maybe he doesn’t know where you live… or he got sidetracked by a meaningless affair with a Brazilian chick, uh we mean kitty… or maybe he hasn’t saved enough money for the expensive space trip from the moon yet… or maybe he just needs to grow up yet… 😉
Whatever you do, don’t forget to have fun!! We know we would! 😀
Purrs and tunas and a big fat whale to you (to bridge the time gap unitl Prince Charming comes along… 😉 )
Roxy & Tigerlino ❤
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Oooooh! Thanks fur the big, fat,WHALE! I’m feeling better already!
About the dates- those guys were SOOOO disappointing…but I’m still trying..I know my handsome Prince is out there someplace- (probably still being littertrained)!
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Oh, sweetie! Don’t be so disappointed! Because you know what?…
Some day your Prince will come!
Some day you’ll find your love
And how thrilling that moment will be
When the prince of your dreams comes to you…
If Snow White could find a Prince then you can too! 😀
We hope we get an invitation to the wedding, sweetie… but if he’s still being litter trained that might not be for a while… 😦
(*Purrs*) Roxy & Tigerlino
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Yeah…well I guess I need to be more patient…after all if he IS still being litter trained, he’d better get that part right! I ain’t going to be cleaning up after him! *(tail flap)*!
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OMKAT! I am laughing so hard I am peeing in my pants! What a bunch of LOOSERS? See, now that is what you go and get. I told you my Rusty is a the one for you, but did you listen? No. Now my Rusty is in a huff and won’t come out to even say hi to you. He flipped his tail (OH OH) and stalked off. Who knows where he is now. You hurt his feelings and here the poor prince had a rose all picked out for you. HUH! Some KATS don’t know a good thing when SHE sees it. Go tell your sad tales somewhere else. I’m sticking up for Rusty on this one. Frowning, Mom BonZo
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*(head butts)* / trills / purrs! ….AHEM.
I SAID,
FLIPPIN PURRRS!
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omc you are hilarious!
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Why thank you! (*purrs)*!! A kat has to have a sense of humor to survive those freaks….
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Oh my! Cat dating is hard.
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Yes…now I know what you poor humans go through to find “the one!” Only fur us kats, it’s more like the 309,447th “ONE!” * No wonder you guys are all so neurotic!* (just sayin)…
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Hi Shrimp! As you inspired my Dating Game post, I would like to post your photo as the lucky bachelorette, winning the date with the bachelor. Plus I’ll include a link to your sight. Would that be ok?
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Absolutely! Thanks fur including me! *(trills)*
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A pleasure. We should do follow up some time!
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Yes…. I’ve been thinking about that!!
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If your into it, I thought next week we can do an interview of “how the date went”. On the Dating Game, they would bring the couples back and interview them. It was pretty funny. You could do Shrimp and I would do Tsuki.
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Mol!! That would be so much fun! O may have to work on it a little at a time though….(dang Creature)!
*(tail flap*)
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How cute! I love the first picture. Bo and Ko are both male and available….. Ellie
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Well now— I’ll have to pay them a little visit…(groomimg)!! *(puuuuuurrrrs)*
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