It just occurred to me from out of the blue....
At first it was a lovely day…..the human came home early and fed me fancy feast and treats-and held me in her lap giving me love and snuggles while she and human # 2 watched Claw and Order….
And then it hit me………
The human bought a new vacuum cleaner! Why, that dirty RAT!!!!!!
NO WONDER she’s been so sweet to me today….she didn’t want me to know she was totally “sucking up to me!” (pardon the pun)….
That’s why she gave me all the special attention and treats….she didn’t want me to suspect a thing until she pulled the pricey purple purrpetrator out of the pantry and proceeded to give me a heart attack!
That thing came right at me – sucking up everything in its evil path!
I SAW what that thing did to all my lovely fur that I so carefully placed on the rugs, the couches, the pillows and my comfy chair….(throne) –
I HAD TO RUN FUR MY FURRY LITTLE LIFE!
I was so heartbroken!
I labored fur HOURS to distribute my fur evenly throughout the house, so my humans would see that I’m lending a helping paw around here, and that I’m not just sleeping around all day….(well, okay, I DO sleep, but while I sleep, I’m busy distributing my fur)……..
and what thanks do I get?
I get treated like a princess so I won’t suspect a thing when they bring out the purple purrpetrator and try to suck me right up!!
And THEN THEY LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AS I SKIDDED AROUND THE CORNER, IN AN ATTEMPT TO OUTRUN THE EVIL THING!
These people are flippin NUTS!
hairballexpress 
My buddy Toonce likes his fur cleaned with a vac. It took a bit of training but the best way of getting rid of some left over fur… Try it Shrimp.. You might like it:)
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AHA!! You’re working with them!! Are they paying you???
I’LL PAY YOU MORE!! (Fancy Feast)!!
(*tail flap*)…..
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Tiki Cat…. Cans of pure Kat happiness
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?? Never heard of that! What is it?
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Trust me when I say it’s the Kats meow… Hi end yums. The tuna is the same tuna they serve at Subway sandwich stores.. The dark meat part of tuna…
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PURRS!! Sounds heavenly……excuse me….i need to purrsuade the human….
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Say WHAT? They bought one of those monsters!?!?!? 😯 Oh My Kats! Humans truly are nuts!!! Don’t they realize that those monsters are even more dangerous than dogs… or the sting of a bee… or getting our purrfect little fur burnt by the sun????
We still can’t believe that you can buy those monsters! LEGALLY!!!! But why anyone sane would even WANT to buy them is beyond us! But then again, the monsters never seem to be after the humans… it’s always us cats the monsters want to scare away! 😕 That’s weird…
(*purrs*)
Roxy & Tigerlino ❤
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I agree…. And who wants a flippin PURPLE MONSTER hanging out in their pantry all the time?
….but then, fur the humans its not a monster, is it?
…fur them its am ACCOMPLICE!
(*growl / tail flap*)
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Yeah, it’s an accomplice! The humans probably need all the help they can get to keep the upper hand while dealing with us cats… They know that we are superior to them and that they can’t win without the help of monsters…
(*angry growls*) 😡
Roxy & Tigerlino
P.S. If it weren’t such a serious matter, the fact that the monster is PURPLE would be beyond funny!! 😆
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I’m laughing. Really hard. *(tail swish*)!
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😉
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Can you perhaps leave some stealth hairballs in the path of the purple monster and tame the thing? Certainly you are clever enough to quell it’s mighty roar somehow.
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Hmmmm. Well now, there’s a possibility i hadn’t considered…..YES!!!!!!
MWAHAHAHA!! …….
(*evil grin*)….yes, that’ll FIX THE EVIL THING!!
I LOVE YOU HUMAN!!!!
(*planning industrial strength hairball attack*)….
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JB here: I feel your outrage. Humans can be so unfair.
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Oh you poor sweetie…do you come over? I give snuggles, treats and loves without a reason.
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Hmmmm…..sounds enticing….got catnip??
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A container full, plus surplus catnip toys
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Super Trills!! Packing my litterbox!!
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Bastards! Oh you poor baby – all that work being so good at putting your fur in all the right places. And they do this. My tomcat says it’s appalling and they must be severely punished.
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Yes, Shrimp, training it is a good idea. But I’ll tell you about my experiences on this. If the machine works too hard, it can eventually burn out and stop working! I’ve gone through many of them. Very costly! I especially had problems when I had three kats at one time. As you say, just sayin! =^.^=
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Oh Shrimp you poor thing, stay strong! And on the bright side, at least it’s purple! 😉 Big hugs Julia & Oscar
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Oh Shrimp, have your humans developed a cruel streak or something? You can come live with us for awhile if you want. Mom gets out the dust mop as much as possible and only gets the evil machine out when she absolutely has to and then mostly when we can go lounge on the sun porch to get away. We feel for you dear Shrimp. Hope you got lots of rest after all that trauma.
Marty and the Gang
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If you do hairballs, they look wonderful on a freshly vacuumed rug.
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Oh yes, I know. That is my favorite place to leave them. I think it’s the human’s favorite place too. Everytime she vacuums and I leave a fresh hairball, she’s so overcome with joy, she’s speechless!
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The other good place is right next to the bed. They love stepping on them.
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Oh yes….and on their pillow also. That’s their ultimate favorite! (*(purrs)*)!
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