Today I was grooming my lovely self, and I had a thought….

Published March 1, 2014 by hairballexpress
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It just occurred to me from out of the blue....

At first it was a lovely day…..the human came home early and fed me fancy feast and treats-and held me in her lap giving me love and snuggles while she and human # 2 watched Claw and Order….

And then it hit me………

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The human bought a new vacuum cleaner! Why, that dirty RAT!!!!!!

NO WONDER she’s been so sweet to me today….she didn’t want me to know she was totally “sucking up to me!”Ā  (pardon the pun)….

That’s why she gave me all the special attention and treats….she didn’t want me to suspect a thing until she pulled the pricey purple purrpetrator out of the pantry and proceeded to give me a heart attack!

That thing came right at me – sucking up everything in its evil path!

I SAW what that thing did to all my lovely fur that I so carefully placed on the rugs, the couches, the pillows and my comfy chair….(throne) –

IĀ  HAD TO RUN FUR MY FURRY LITTLE LIFE!

I was so heartbroken!

I labored fur HOURS to distribute my fur evenly throughout the house, so my humans would see that I’m lending a helping paw around here, and that I’m not just sleeping around all day….(well, okay, I DO sleep, but while I sleep, I’m busy distributing my fur)……..

and what thanks do I get?Ā 

I get treated like a princess so I won’t suspect a thing when they bring out the purple purrpetrator and try to suck me right up!!

And THEN THEY LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AS I SKIDDED AROUND THE CORNER, IN AN ATTEMPT TO OUTRUN THE EVIL THING!

These people are flippin NUTS!

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26 comments on “Today I was grooming my lovely self, and I had a thought….

  • My buddy Toonce likes his fur cleaned with a vac. It took a bit of training but the best way of getting rid of some left over fur… Try it Shrimp.. You might like it:)

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  • Say WHAT? They bought one of those monsters!?!?!? šŸ˜Æ Oh My Kats! Humans truly are nuts!!! Don’t they realize that those monsters are even more dangerous than dogs… or the sting of a bee… or getting our purrfect little fur burnt by the sun????

    We still can’t believe that you can buy those monsters! LEGALLY!!!! But why anyone sane would even WANT to buy them is beyond us! But then again, the monsters never seem to be after the humans… it’s always us cats the monsters want to scare away! šŸ˜• That’s weird…

    (*purrs*)
    Roxy & Tigerlino ā¤

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    • Hmmmm. Well now, there’s a possibility i hadn’t considered…..YES!!!!!!

      MWAHAHAHA!! …….
      (*evil grin*)….yes, that’ll FIX THE EVIL THING!!

      I LOVE YOU HUMAN!!!!

      (*planning industrial strength hairball attack*)….

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  • Bastards! Oh you poor baby – all that work being so good at putting your fur in all the right places. And they do this. My tomcat says it’s appalling and they must be severely punished.

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  • Yes, Shrimp, training it is a good idea. But I’ll tell you about my experiences on this. If the machine works too hard, it can eventually burn out and stop working! I’ve gone through many of them. Very costly! I especially had problems when I had three kats at one time. As you say, just sayin! =^.^=

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  • Oh Shrimp, have your humans developed a cruel streak or something? You can come live with us for awhile if you want. Mom gets out the dust mop as much as possible and only gets the evil machine out when she absolutely has to and then mostly when we can go lounge on the sun porch to get away. We feel for you dear Shrimp. Hope you got lots of rest after all that trauma.
    Marty and the Gang

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