At first it was a lovely day…..the human came home early and fed me fancy feast and treats-and held me in her lap giving me love and snuggles while she and human # 2 watched Claw and Order….
And then it hit me………
The human bought a new vacuum cleaner! Why, that dirty RAT!!!!!!
NO WONDER she’s been so sweet to me today….she didn’t want me to know she was totally “sucking up to me!” (pardon the pun)….
That’s why she gave me all the special attention and treats….she didn’t want me to suspect a thing until she pulled the pricey purple purrpetrator out of the pantry and proceeded to give me a heart attack!
That thing came right at me – sucking up everything in its evil path!
I SAW what that thing did to all my lovely fur that I so carefully placed on the rugs, the couches, the pillows and my comfy chair….(throne) –
I HAD TO RUN FUR MY FURRY LITTLE LIFE!
I was so heartbroken!
I labored fur HOURS to distribute my fur evenly throughout the house, so my humans would see that I’m lending a helping paw around here, and that I’m not just sleeping around all day….(well, okay, I DO sleep, but while I sleep, I’m busy distributing my fur)……..
and what thanks do I get?
I get treated like a princess so I won’t suspect a thing when they bring out the purple purrpetrator and try to suck me right up!!
And THEN THEY LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AS I SKIDDED AROUND THE CORNER, IN AN ATTEMPT TO OUTRUN THE EVIL THING!
These people are flippin NUTS!