My New Year’s Resolutions

Published January 2, 2014 by hairballexpress


The humans have this habit of making New Year’s Resolutions.….

I’ve seen the same thing happening year after year fur the last 4 of my 9 lives.

Over and over all the humans get together and talk about their resolutions and vow to fulfill them (this time).

The problem with these resolutions is that people tend to “resolve” to change behaviors and habits that are so ingrained into them that they have a better chance of changing their species than they do of changing their habits.

We kats are smarter than humans, because we know that we are what we are. We cannot will ourselves to become a cougar when we are housecats just because it’s a new year.

But still, since it seems to be the expected thing, I made my own list of New Year’s Resolutions:

eat more

★ sleep more

★ shred the kat tree

★ shred the couch

★ dig a tunnel under the bed to Japan so I can escape from the Creature

★ delete the vets phone number from the humans smartphone

★ sell the vacuum on ebay

★ shed on more expensive clothes

★ leave more mice fur the human

*yawn / stretch / snore *




34 comments on “My New Year’s Resolutions

  • Well Shrimp at least all your resolutions sound “do-able” ! My Mom wants to lose weight in the new year which I find to be totally “un-do-able” since it’s been on her list for as long as I’ve known her which is 14 years! Daddy tells me that it’s been on her list WAY LONGER than that! GOOD LUCK with yours…..

    Hugs, Sammy


  • Hey Shrimp, what a GREAT list!! We’ve already accomplished resolutions #3, # 4 and #8 of your list. Boy, was that fun! Deleting the vets phone number from the human’s smartphone and selling the vacuum cleaner are awesome ideas! You’re such a smart girl!! We’ll have to put that to our list too! 😀 Oh, and if you need help digging the tunnel, you know where to find us… 😉

    xoxo Roxy & Tigerlino


  • Shrimp, what were you thinking? My Heavens! You might want to add to make it a goal to aim for the slippers when you have a furrball!! And you have to get your human to stock up or organic catnip. And one more thing…..make sure you leave lots of nose prints on the windows.

    Your friend,


  • You have some very good resolutions pal 🙂 I didn’t make any this year as I couldn’t think of anything to improve my perfect life, I’m a content kind of cat. However, now that I have read yours I’m starting to think perhaps I should have! Good luck with them all and keep us updated on how you get on. High paw fives, Morris.


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