I just want you to know that I didn’t write the letter you got yesterday. The Creature wrote it.
(do you believe me yet)?
My Christmas list is very simple….. I’ll put my order in now before the last minute rush… It should be very easy fur you unless your reindeer get lost.
✔ first thing on my list is a whale.
Just a small one will do fine…(1300 pounds is a good start).
We don’t have a chimney, so you’ll have to plop him in the bathtub…. Don’t worry, the humans won’t mind.
✔ next, I’d like a big bag of organic catnip (50 lbs should last me at least a week…. Unless you’re feeling particularly generous).
✔ after that, I’d like a few kats imported from France (male)……
✔ and a pre paid cruise to the Bahamas fur me and my 269,087 boyfriends (passports included, please), fur the next time the Creature comes over.
✔ and, I’d like a lifetime guarantee of no more vet visits, shots, flee treatments, baths, eye wipings, or claw trimmings.
Now, wasn’t that Easy?
PS. I’ll leave some cream and fancy feast out fur you.